Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

with increase in global tourism it has become obvious that there are many advantages and disadvantages that can be found from the effects of tourism. do you believe advantages outweigh disadvantages? v.1

with increase in global tourism it has become obvious that there are many advantages and disadvantages that can be found from the effects of tourism. do you believe advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 1
Since the invention of aeroplanes, global tourism has risen rapidly. While this tourism has brought many benefits, the disadvantages that came along with it can't be ignored. This essay will discuss both sides of the topic while maintaining a neutral stand. First and foremost, one can't argue against the economical benefits of tourism industry for any city, state or country. There are many countries who rely heavily on tourists for their budget and financial stability. Some countries total export are equal to what they earn through tourism. For example, Indonesia, Australia and several other Pacific island nations depend on tourists as they bring in more than their total exports per annum. These countries are enjoying the advantages of visitors since they have become tourist hotspots for many years due to the facilities they provide to attract more and more people every year. On the contrary, with this increase in the tourism, comes the danger of many diseases being brought to countries not exposed to before. For example, the Ebola virus outbreak back in 2015 as well as current cronavirus outbreak from mainland China to almost all around the world happened because of the people visiting other countries from the disease effected countries, thus becoming a host and spreading the disease where ever they go. In conclusion, it can be said that there are many advantages and disadvantages of this tourism, but it's a bit hard to conclude if the benefits outweigh the troubles from the tourism or not. Therefore, I can easily say that this topic needs more time and research for us to be able to find out either the advantages are greater than the disadvantages of the global tourism or not.
Since the invention of
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
, global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has risen
rapidly
. While this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, the disadvantages that came along with it can't be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. This essay will discuss both sides of the topic while maintaining a neutral stand.

First
and foremost, one can't argue against the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry for any city, state or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who rely
heavily
on tourists for their budget and financial stability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
total export are equal to what they earn through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
For example
, Indonesia, Australia and several other Pacific island nations depend on tourists as they bring in more than their total exports per annum. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are enjoying the advantages of visitors since they have become tourist hotspots for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years due to the facilities they provide to attract more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
every year.

On the contrary
, with this increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases
being brought
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
not exposed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For example
, the Ebola virus outbreak back in 2015
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Possible spelling mistake found.
cronavirus
outbreak from mainland China to almost all around the world happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from the disease effected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
thus
becoming a host and spreading the disease where ever they go.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's a bit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to conclude
if the benefits outweigh the troubles from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
or not.
Therefore
, I can
easily
say that this topic needs more time and research for us to be able to find out either the advantages are greater than the disadvantages of the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
or not.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay with increase in global tourism it has become obvious that there are many advantages and disadvantages that can be found from the effects of tourism. do you believe advantages outweigh disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts