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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.23

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 23
In this fast-changing and competitive society, children must earn enough skills for being a wellbeing member of society. There is a big debate about where children can learn these skills. While some people put the responsibility on schools, others believe that parents should take the lead for enhancing their offspring's social skills. In my view; whereas, schools have an influence on teaching children about their roles in society, parents carry more duty in this task. The school I first community where children are entering. It is also best to place for them to get experience in communicating with people from a whole variety of backgrounds. Teacher’s primary role is imparting information and knowledge, but they should also focus on student´s social skills. Because pupils are greatly influenced by their teachers. Furthermore, teachers impose more discipline comparing with parents which intensifies the learning process. For example, a child can be well educated at school about the recycling process and the consequences of not separating waste in a better and more updated way comparing with what their parents can teach them. However, parents should take more responsibility to enhance their child’s ability for living in a diverse community. If students are not well informed about how to cope with issues of living and cooperating with others in society, will face problems when entering a wider community. For instance, a student who did not gain enough social skills from home is at risk of bullying from peers at school. Consequently, a person who is bullied at school cannot be a wellbeing member of society. In conclusion, while teaching social skills to the next generation at school is very influential, parents are still playing the most significant part of their children life to prepare them in order to face social challenges and be worthwhile citizens.
In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-changing and competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for being a
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
debate about where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
put the responsibility on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take the lead for enhancing their offspring's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. In my view; whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have an influence on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about their roles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
carry more duty in this task.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
I
first
community where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are entering. It is
also
best to place for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience in communicating with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from a whole variety of backgrounds. Teacher’s primary role is imparting information and knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should
also
focus on
The character between 'student' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "student’s" (curly apostrophe) or "student's" (straight apostrophe).
student´s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
pupils are
greatly
influenced by their teachers.
Furthermore
, teachers impose more discipline comparing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which intensifies the learning process.
For example
, a child can be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
about the recycling process and the consequences of not separating waste in a better and more updated way comparing with what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can teach them.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should take more responsibility to enhance their child’s ability for living in a diverse community. If students are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
about how to cope with issues of living and cooperating with others in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, will face problems when entering a wider community.
For instance
, a student who did not gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from home is at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of bullying from peers at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Consequently
, a person who
is bullied
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
cannot be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
member of society.

In conclusion
, while teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to the
next
generation at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
influential,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
still
playing the most significant part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life to prepare them in order to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
challenges and be worthwhile citizens.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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