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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.20

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 20
As time goes by, the way society classifies people changes. Before the rise of technology, family values were passed through generations. Now, children have open access to an excruciating amount of information and social media. The internet gives us a false impression that the person's worth lies on how much money they have and how they portrait their lifestyle online. A direct effect of capitalism is measuring someone's worth by the amount of money they have. This culture tells us that it's more important to accumulate material belongings rather than investing in human connection. If we continue to devote all of our time to work, are we really living? Although we cannot aim to completely change the economic system we live in, we should think of better ways to live a happier and healthier life. Social media is an amazing tool to bring people together, but it is actually bringing them apart. What is depicted online isn't the reality. One can post a picture of a perfect and wealthy life and be depressed and drowning in debt. To avoid those misconceptions, there has to be conscious use of technology, spend more time outdoors, having meaningful conversations away from your mobile phone. The scarcity of eye contact and human touch can be very damaging to our mental health. Even though the way we live have dramatically changed over the years, deep down people are still the same. Human beings are wired to seek connection and are unable to live alone. Knowing that, there's hope that in the future we will learn how to balance every aspect of our life. That means that we will still pass down honesty, empathy and humbleness to our children, as well as teach them to look for it in everyone they meet. In the end, true bonding is only possible when one is able to show their true self.
As time goes by, the way society classifies
people
changes
.
Before
the rise of technology, family values
were passed
through generations.
Now
, children have open access to an excruciating amount of information and social media. The internet gives us a false impression that the person's worth lies on how much money they have and how they
portrait
their lifestyle online.

A direct effect of capitalism is measuring someone's worth by the amount of money they have. This culture
tells
us that it's more
important
to accumulate material belongings
rather
than investing in human connection. If we continue to devote all of our time to work, are we
really
living? Although we cannot aim to completely
change
the economic system we
live
in, we should
think
of better ways to
live
a happier and healthier life.

Social media is an amazing tool to bring
people
together,
but
it is actually bringing them apart. What
is depicted
online isn't the reality. One can post a picture of a perfect and wealthy life and
be depressed
and drowning in debt. To avoid those misconceptions, there
has to
be conscious
use
of technology, spend more time outdoors, having meaningful conversations away from your mobile phone. The scarcity of eye contact and human touch can be
very
damaging to our mental health.

Even though
the way we
live
have
dramatically
changed
over the years, deep down
people
are
still
the same. Human beings
are wired
to seek connection and are unable to
live
alone. Knowing that, there's hope that in the future we will learn how to balance every aspect of our life. That means that we will
still
pass down honesty, empathy and humbleness to our children,
as well
as teach them to look for it in everyone they
meet
. In the
end
, true bonding is
only
possible when one is able to
show
their true self.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. with this opinion? v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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