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Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. Do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree? v.2

Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. v. 2
Since the introduction of social media applications in the early 2000’s the world has become a much smaller place. Social media applications such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have become information sources for a majority of the global market. As such, I would agree that marketing, which happens to be a source of information accessible on these platforms can influence the consumers who use them. This notion is further aided by the rise in online retail stores who conduct the bulk of their transactions online. This makes it easier for the consumer to purchase from anywhere in the world. As a consumer of social media, you are constantly bombarded with advertisements of various products that are specifically designed to catch your attention. This means that most of the adverts on your news feeds aren’t random and will almost always feature something you have previously searched online or something currently popular or trending. Given the fact that most social media users are young consumers who are influenced by current trends and happenings these adverts will almost always catch their eye. The habit of sharing, retweeting and liking also ensures that these adverts get around, quite fast. As such, when an advert does reach your news feed you have already probably seen it on your friend’s news feed. The truth is, adverts are a form of info and with the age of the internet, info spreads faster than a wildfire. Therefore, it only makes sense that in the era and age of technology, globalization and the need to be trendy, social media marketing can influence what consumers buy.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
applications in the early
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "2000s".
2000’s
the world has become a much smaller place.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
applications such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have become information sources for a majority of the global market. As such, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that marketing, which happens to be a source of information accessible on these platforms can influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them. This notion is
further
aided by the rise in online retail stores who conduct the bulk of their transactions online. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
from anywhere in the world.

As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, you are
constantly
bombarded with advertisements of various products that are
specifically
designed to catch your attention. This means that most of the adverts on your news feeds aren’t random and will almost always feature something you have previously searched online or something
currently
popular or trending.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the fact that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
users are young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
who
are influenced
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trends and happenings these adverts will almost always catch their eye.

The habit of sharing, retweeting and liking
also
ensures that these adverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
around, quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. As such, when an advert does reach your news feed you have already
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it on your friend’s news feed. The truth is, adverts are a form of info and with the age of the internet, info spreads faster than a wildfire.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense that in the era and age of technology, globalization and the need to be trendy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
marketing can influence what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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