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A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.13

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v. 13
# Essay Nowadays people appreciate person according to its financial condition as well as its fiscal ability. Meanwhile honour, kindness, ancient customs as well as values, trust trivial for individual's worth. I personally believe to this point of view and in this essay I will explain my agreement with some details. The first of all, now human being respect to each other according to their fortune. If someone indigent it would be inappreciable. So that now all of individuals try to be opulent. Currently, oof is very vital insomuch among friends. For instance, my uncle told about his friends that initially they very adores when my uncle worked as a boss and also when he was dives. After few time my uncle went to bankrupt and all of his valuable friends turned away from him. However, after a while he becomes wealthy again and his false friends returned to him as impertinently. But my uncle did not recognise them. It is an example of importance of richness among friends. Following to this, relatives also attend to abundance and homage also depends on it. One day my friend told me about her relatives. According to her talk her aunt was not very rich, so that relatives do not revere her. They do not go to her holidays or birthday parties, sometimes insomuch they do not congratulate her by phone. They do not help her when she has problems. However, my friend's another aunt is very well-wheeled, so that she is very appreciable by others. Her relatives always help to her, frequently visit to her as a guest, often make calls, always visit to congratulate her when she has a birthday. So that according to this action my friend also try to be rich. To conclude, according to over mentioned examples that presently no one respects each other according to their ancient values, kindness and trust, as well as an honour. They are trivial than wealth. Perhaps, they do not know that richness cannot always help with them.
# Essay

Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
appreciate person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to its financial condition
as well
as its fiscal ability.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, kindness, ancient customs
as well
as values, trust trivial for individual's worth. I
personally
The usual collocation for "believe" is "in" not "to". Did you mean "believe in"?
believe to
this point of view and in this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my agreement with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

The
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
human being respect to each other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to their fortune.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
someone indigent it would be inappreciable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Consider using "all individuals" or "all of the individuals".
all of individuals
try to be opulent.
Currently
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
oof
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital insomuch among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
For instance
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
that
initially
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
adores when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
worked as a boss and
also
when he was dives. After
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "few times".
few time
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
went to bankrupt and all of his valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
turned away from him.
However
, after a while he becomes wealthy again and his false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
returned to him as
impertinently
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uncle
did not
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
them. It is an example of importance of richness among friends.

Following to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
also
attend to abundance and homage
also
depends on it. One day my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me about her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
According
to her talk her aunt was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rich,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
do not revere her. They do not go to her holidays or birthday parties,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
insomuch they do not congratulate her by phone. They do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her when she has problems.
However
, my friend's another aunt is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well-wheeled,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
appreciable by others. Her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relatives
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to her,
frequently
visit to her as a guest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
calls, always visit to congratulate her when she has a birthday.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to this action my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
also
try to be rich.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to over mentioned examples that
presently
no one respects each other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
according
to their ancient values, kindness and trust,
as well
as an
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
. They are
Use "(trivial)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
trivial
than wealth. Perhaps, they do not know that richness cannot always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with them.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. v. 13

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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