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A person you know is planning to move to your hometown or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v.1

A person you know is planning to move to your hometown or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v. 1
In recent years, global warming has been receiving a great deal of media attention around the world due to its substantial impacts on human life. Although the idea of taking responsibility by individuals appears reasonable, corporations and governments play a key role in combating temperature change because of their greater responsibility and capacity. There are a number of reasons why corporations and governments could tackle climate change better than individuals who do not have enough power and capacity to make changes worldwide. First, governments have the ability to affect large systematic change for global warming by enacting legislation requiring both locals and corporations to abide by certain restrictions. For example, governments introduce laws for corporations to reduce and recycle effective waste before sending them to the environment, which climate change can be seriously countered. Second, corporations, especially in the manufacturing and mining industries, should support financially to cope with the increasing temperature in the world as they are operating for business and directly contributing to humidity development. Therefore, it can be implied that if corporations were not held accountable for their contribution to global warming, the issue of climate change would inevitably be exacerbated. On the other hand, individuals could support compacting climate change correlating with the governments, however, they could only deal with local and personal problems. The inhabitants do not have the rights to issue policies or laws to make great impacts worldwide, so they can do small things for their communities. For instance, people follow strict orders from the government, such as walking or taking public transportation rather than using private vehicles in order to reduce traffic congestion, travel time, air pollution and energy consumption which increase climate change. In addition, people should have to worry about personal problems as well as living costs, so they would focus on their life first before protecting the environment on a large scale. It should be noticed that governments have many responsibilities to tackle global warming, which is part of the basic security towards their citizens to make the world a better place. In conclusion, actively combating global warming must be regarded as top priority given the highest urgency. Governments and corporations worldwide should take steps to ensure that temperature development remains at bay rather than individuals.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
has been receiving a great deal of media attention around the world due to its substantial impacts on human life. Although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of taking responsibility by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
appears reasonable,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
play a key role in combating temperature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their greater responsibility and capacity.

There are a number of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
power and capacity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
worldwide.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have the ability to affect large systematic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
by enacting legislation requiring both locals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
to abide by certain restrictions.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
introduce laws for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and recycle effective waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sending them to the environment, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can be
seriously
countered. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
,
especially
in the manufacturing and mining industries, should support
financially
to cope with the increasing temperature in the world as they are operating for business and
directly
contributing to humidity development.
Therefore
, it can
be implied
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
were not held accountable for their contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
would
inevitably
be exacerbated
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
could support compacting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
correlating with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
,
however
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
deal with local and personal problems. The inhabitants do not have the rights to issue policies or laws to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
great impacts worldwide,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things for their communities.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
follow strict orders from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, such as walking or taking public transportation
rather
than using private vehicles in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic congestion, travel time, air pollution and energy consumption which increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about personal problems
as well
as living costs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they would focus on their life
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
protecting the environment on a large scale. It should
be noticed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
responsibilities to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
, which is part of the basic security towards their citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place.

In conclusion
,
actively
combating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be regarded
as top priority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the highest urgency.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corporations
worldwide should take steps to ensure that temperature development remains at bay
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A person you know is planning to move to your hometown or city. What do you think this person would like and dislike about living in your town or city? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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