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A person worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

A person worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. v. 6
In the last few decades, people have been judged according to their possessions and how much money they have. I strongly disagree with this opinion; it kills many moral values such as kindness, trustworthy, honour and generosity. This essay shows that keeping positive ethical is important than one’s social status. Firstly, we live in a materialistic era. Not only do people judge others through their social status but also they judge them by appearance which affects our children’ personalities. Bullying is one of the worst problems in schools which has been raised due to their community thoughts, as they judge friends according to their clothes’ brand. For example, a study has been published by a societal magazine showed that 65% of students in the educational system are suffering from depression after being bullied, physically or emotionally, by their mates. Moreover, making friendship between students depends on how rich they are. For instance, a survey has been done by Cambridge University showed that 60% of students were making friends according to their appearance and school expenses. Secondly, many people treat others in injustice way in government offices. For example, if you needed to get a document done from a government office and you looked rich, you would not have to queue in a line. In addition to that, most families refuse to marry their daughter to a person from a lower social class. For example, in 2017, an article has been written in an Egyptian newspaper showed that the percentage of unmarried women increased; families are looking for rich groom without focusing on the importance of moral values such as dignity, kindness, and trust. In conclusion, in the modern era, money and social status are playing an essential role in judging people; however, in my point of view, the priority of judgement should be given to values such as honour, kindness, and trust.
In the last few decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been judged
according to their possessions and how much money they have. I
strongly
disagree with this opinion; it kills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
moral values such as kindness, trustworthy,
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
and generosity. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ethical is
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status.

Firstly
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a materialistic era. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
judge others through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they judge them by appearance which affects our children’ personalities. Bullying is one of the worst problems in schools which has
been raised
due to their community thoughts, as they judge friends according to their clothes’ brand.
For example
, a study has
been published
by a societal magazine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 65% of students in the educational system are suffering from depression after
being bullied
,
physically
or
emotionally
, by their mates.
Moreover
, making friendship between students depends on how rich they are.
For instance
, a survey has
been done
by Cambridge University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 60% of students were making friends according to their appearance and school expenses.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
treat others in injustice way in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offices.
For example
, if you needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a document done from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
office and you looked rich, you would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
queue in a line.
In addition
to that, most families refuse to marry their daughter to a person from a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
For example
, in 2017, an article has
been written
in an Egyptian newspaper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the percentage of unmarried women increased; families are looking for rich groom without focusing on the importance of moral values such as dignity, kindness, and trust.

In conclusion
, in the modern era, money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status are playing an essential role in judging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
however
, in my point of view, the priority of judgement should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to values such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, kindness, and trust.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay A person worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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