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A person worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

A person worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. v. 4
The rise in popular population has become increasingly a major crux. Nowadays many countries are facing the enlargement of residents so they need more accommodation. This essay will amplify that building new homes in out of town would be optimistic, but in remaining cities it would have a destructive impact. To begin with, constructing additional buildings will not only dense the city area, but also, affects many other aspects of human life. First and foremost, metro cities in different countries are already highly populated so that there is a lack of resources to survive in the city like as: land, water and other basic fundamental needs, which is a major issue to increase the cost of living in the suburbs. For example, Dhaka is extremely congested with large settlement of Bangladesh, where the cost of land and sustenance touched the sky. In addition, more development can reduce the open premises that can cause traffic congestion on the roads and streets at a cost of the aesthetic beauty of the locations. At last, the more houses will turn the more pollution in cities and a deplorable impact on the community. On the other hand, expansion towards the countryside can enforce the government to develop more facilities. First of all, the government would have to implement the infrastructure like: transportation, water supplies, entertainment and so on. Thus, the living standards of the villagers can also be amended through the developments. Moreover, the environment of the village is neat and serene, which is beneficial for personal along with the social health. For instance, businesses and residents can hire more cheap resources, including, land, labour etc. Which in return, it will create more jobs for hickeys. Finally, spreading towards the embryonic area can have economic prosperity for the country. To conclude, it rightly said that anything in in excess is perilous. To infer, I am convinced that rather than overcrowding the cities, moving towards vacant places will be the best option for countries overall developing.
The rise in popular population has become
increasingly
a major crux. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are facing the enlargement of residents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need more accommodation. This essay will amplify that building new homes in out of town would be optimistic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
it would have a destructive impact.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, constructing additional buildings will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
dense the city area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, affects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other aspects of human life.
First
and foremost, metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries are already
highly
populated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is a lack of resources to survive in the city like as: land, water and other basic fundamental needs, which is a major issue to increase the cost of living in the suburbs.
For example
, Dhaka is
extremely
congested with large settlement of Bangladesh, where the cost of land and sustenance touched the sky.
In addition
, more development can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the open premises that can cause traffic congestion on the roads and streets at a cost of the aesthetic beauty of the locations. At last, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
will turn the more pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and a deplorable impact on the community.

On the other hand
, expansion towards the countryside can enforce the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to develop more facilities.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
implement the infrastructure like: transportation, water supplies, entertainment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Thus
, the living standards of the villagers can
also
be amended
through the developments.
Moreover
, the environment of the village is neat and serene, which is beneficial for personal along with the social health.
For instance
, businesses and residents can hire more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
resources, including, land,
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
etc. Which in return, it will create more jobs for hickeys.
Finally
, spreading towards the embryonic area can have economic prosperity for the country.

To conclude
, it
rightly
said that anything
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
excess is perilous. To infer, I
am convinced
that
rather
than overcrowding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, moving towards vacant places will be the best option for countries
overall
developing.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A person worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values such as honour, kindness, and trust no longer seem important. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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