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Athough some people feel children should be made to leave their parents at a certain age, others believe they do not need to. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Athough some people feel children should be made to leave their parents at a certain age, others believe they do not need to. v. 2
Whether children should be granted independence from their parents at a particular age has been a debatable issue for ages. Certain individuals are of the opinion that as children attain particular age, they should be made to leave their guardians to live their own lives although others think children should be able to live under the auspices of their parents irrespective of how old they are. In my opinion, I believe decision for children to leave or continue living with their parents should be left to the child to make. On the one hand, proponents of the viewpoint that children need not continue staying with their parents when they grow to a certain age say so mainly because they see it as a way of fostering a sense of responsibility in them. Basically, making it compulsory for these children to go out and explore the world for themselves can help create experiences that could be life-changing and beneficial. For example, in life a person that is not enjoying parental protection when exposed to an extremely challenging situation and finds solution to it, such individual will improve. On the other hand, certain persons are of the opinion that there ought not to be a limit on the time duration a child can remain with his parents. Fundamentally, there is the belief that guardians which allow their children to stay for as long as they want not only raise them to be responsible, they do so while not placing their lives in danger. Thus, teenagers will be unequipped to handle situations they meet outside at eighteen and so will still struggle. Finally, it is my view that children should be left to decide to remain in their parents' accommodation or live independent of them. This is because in the development of children, some mature faster than others. As a result, it is a child that can know his level of maturity better than anyone else. For instance, some children are already capable of making life changing decision at seventeen while other older children still find it difficult. In conclusion, despite varying opinions, I believe the overriding factor should be the maturity of the child considering they develop at different pace. Given the above, kids should only move out of their guardians’ accommodation at their volition.
Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be granted
independence from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
has been a debatable issue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. Certain individuals are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attain particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, they should
be made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their guardians to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
although others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
under the auspices of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
irrespective of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
they are. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I believe decision for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
or continue living with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
.

On the one hand, proponents of the viewpoint that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need not continue staying with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they grow to a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
say
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a way of fostering a sense of responsibility in them.
Basically
, making it compulsory for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to go out and explore the world for themselves can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
create experiences that could be life-changing and beneficial.
For example
, in life a person
that is
not enjoying parental protection when exposed to an
extremely
challenging situation and finds solution to it, such individual will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, certain persons are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
that there ought not to be a limit on the time duration a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can remain with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Fundamentally
, there is the belief that guardians which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay for as long as they want not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
raise them to be responsible, they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
while not placing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will
be unequipped
to handle situations they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
outside at eighteen and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will
still
struggle.

Finally
, it is my view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to decide to remain in their parents' accommodation or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independent of them. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mature faster than others.
As a result
, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
that can know his level of maturity better than anyone else.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are already capable of making life changing decision at seventeen while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
still
find it difficult.

In conclusion
, despite varying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
, I believe the overriding factor should be the maturity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
considering they develop at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pace.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the above, kids should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of their guardians’ accommodation at their volition.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Athough some people feel children should be made to leave their parents at a certain age, others believe they do not need to. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
383 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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