Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A person should never take the decision alone. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? v.1

A person should never take the decision alone. v. 1
Nowadays, it is becoming more and more common for a growing number of people to spend hours on end watching various sport programs or news. For many of them, being familiar with sport rankings and positions of their favourite teams has become an inalienable part of their life. Some individuals argue that, watching sport is a waste of people’s spare time. However, I partly disagree with this viewpoint and in this essay I will support my opinion with examples. Let’s begin by looking at the positives of sporting telecasts. One of the main advantages of this is that these sporting competitions on the box are able to easily motivate our young generation and even adults to achieve their main targets. What I mean by this is that they can perceive that any people in the world, including themselves, have an opportunity to succeed in getting outstanding results in any fields of society. Secondly, In addition of, being motivated, people might have a great influence on the sport. This could be associated with the fact that being aware of different sporting events and the results of their country through television these people can understand the weaknesses of particular teams and they might be more likely to suggest any advices in terms of the teams’ drawbacks, which could be incredibly useful for their results in future matches. Turning to the other side of the argument, being involved in sport might prohibit watchers or fans to do other vital works. In other words, they may give up own works and jobs, sitting in the same place for an extended period of time. This often leads to unemployment or obesity. Moreover, watching TV might harm our eyes, with beams, which usually produced by the screen. Take football fans as an example. Even though it is getting pitch dark, they often watch matches in the midnight. Therefore, many of them suffer from eye-related diseases, like short-sightedness. To conclude, although it is common belief that watching sport is a waste of leisure time, I believe that people should use this opportunity with the right attitude.
Nowadays, it is becoming more and more common for a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend hours on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
watching various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
programs or news. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them, being familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
rankings and positions of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
teams has become an inalienable part of their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals argue that, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
spare time.
However
, I partly disagree with this viewpoint and in this essay I will support my opinion with examples.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the positives of sporting telecasts. One of the main advantages of this is that these sporting competitions on the box are able to
easily
motivate our young generation and even adults to achieve their main targets. What I mean by this is that they can perceive that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world, including themselves, have an opportunity to succeed in getting outstanding results in any fields of society.

Secondly
,
In addition
of,
being motivated
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have a great influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. This could
be associated
with the fact that being aware of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and the results of their country through television these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can understand the weaknesses of particular
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teams and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be more likely to suggest any advices in terms of the teams’ drawbacks, which could be
incredibly
useful for their results in future matches.

Turning to the other side of the argument,
being involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
prohibit watchers or fans to do other vital works.
In other words
, they may give up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
works and jobs, sitting in the same place for an extended period of time. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to unemployment or obesity.
Moreover
, watching TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
harm our eyes, with beams, which
usually
produced by the screen. Take football fans as an example.
Even though
it is getting pitch dark, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
matches in the midnight.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them suffer from eye-related diseases, like
Possible spelling mistake found.
short-sightedness
.

To conclude
, although it is common belief that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a waste of leisure time, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this opportunity with the right attitude.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A person should never take the decision alone. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts