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TPO4 Q2Some people enjoy living in a location that has a warm climate all year. Other people like to live in a place where the seasons change. What type of climate do you prefer and why? Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion. v.1

TPO4 Q2Some people enjoy living in a location that has a warm climate all year. Other people like to live in a place where the seasons change. What type of climate do you prefer and why? Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion. v. 1
People throughout the world have different preferences with regard to the lifestyle. Many enjoy doing the same work through their entire life while others want a change. In my opinion, I think the change is important for a better lifestyle. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument, and then submit a plausible conclusion. On the one hand, people are reluctant to change because they have developed their skills in a particular area. Some employees, for example, do not welcome new processes and technology because they have already spent many years of their life learning about the existing processes. This shift makes them anxious and uncomfortable, therefore, they would prefer working on the same patterns. Moreover, when people get older, they become less adaptable which means they do not have the strength to cope up with the changing circumstances. Therefore, in this part of their age, they would like stability in their life. On the other hand, many people argue and I agree that change is crucial for personal development. Many thrilled and challenging people get bored of the same routine and they seek change in their chores. This gives them an opportunity to learn and explore about new things. These skills help them move forward in their lives. For example, 3 out of every 4 employees, working in the US, switch their jobs to learn new skills which allow them to apply and secure highly paid jobs. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I strongly believe that without embracing change, life is stagnant and to achieve more, one must accept it and see it as an opportunity for excellence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
throughout the world have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
preferences with regard to the lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
enjoy doing the same work through their entire life while others want a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a better lifestyle. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument, and then submit a plausible conclusion.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are reluctant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have developed their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a particular area.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
employees,
for example
, do not welcome new processes and technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have already spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years of their life learning about the existing processes. This shift
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them anxious and uncomfortable,
therefore
, they would prefer working on the same patterns.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, they become less adaptable which means they do not have the strength to cope up with the changing circumstances.
Therefore
, in this part of their age, they would like stability in their life.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is crucial for personal development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
thrilled and challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
the same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
routine and
they seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in their chores. This gives them an opportunity to learn and explore about new things. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, 3 out of every 4 employees, working in the US, switch their jobs to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to apply and secure
highly
paid jobs.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinion, I
strongly
believe that without embracing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, life is stagnant and to achieve more, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as an opportunity for excellence.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay TPO4 Q2Some people enjoy living in a location that has a warm climate all year. Other people like to live in a place where the seasons change. What type of climate do you prefer and why? Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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