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A person should never make an important decision alone. v.3

A person should never make an important decision alone. v. 3
People's lives are directly influenced by their decisions which range from trivial daily decisions to life-altering decisions. In my view, a person should seek an objective opinion for people around him are likely to be affected by his decisions. Being independent should always be encouraged but not at the expense of other people’s lives. As we grow older, our responsibility for people around us expands as well. As a result, decisions which may seem personal at first sight can indirectly affect our immediate family members. For example, relocation to another city due to changing jobs may have an adverse impact on our children as they need to adjust to a whole new environment and make new friends in a completely strange setting. In such cases, consulting with a spouse is critical, and sometimes seeking the opinion of somebody with a relevant experience can be helpful. By doing this, individuals will be able to weigh the entire options make an informed decision. In some cases, person's decisions affect the people beyond just his friends and family. These individuals assume the responsibility for a community or the whole nation. Countries under a dictatorship regime, therefore, sometimes suffer the consequences of un-consulted decisions made by just one person. In a modern world, we can afford to have such centralised leadership neither in our organisations nor in our governments. That is the very reason why the Board of Directors and the Congress plays such an important role. To sum up, even the personal decisions may have an indirect effect on people around, therefore consulting with one's close friends or family is strongly advised. If the decisions we make concern the people on a larger scale, then we, most definitely, must assure to receive an unbiased feedback before making an informed decision.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
directly
influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
which range from trivial daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
to life-altering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. In my view, a person should seek an objective opinion for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around him are likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by his decisions.

Being independent should always
be encouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not at the expense of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. As we grow older, our responsibility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us expands
as well
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
which may seem personal at
first
sight can
indirectly
affect our immediate family members.
For example
, relocation to another city due to changing jobs may have an adverse impact on our children as they need to adjust to a whole new environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends in a completely strange setting. In such cases, consulting with a spouse is critical, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
seeking the opinion of somebody with a relevant experience can be helpful. By doing this, individuals will be able to weigh the entire options
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an informed decision.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
beyond
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
his friends and family. These individuals assume the responsibility for a community or the whole nation. Countries under a dictatorship regime,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
suffer the consequences of
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-consulted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
made by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one person. In a modern world, we can afford to have such
Possible spelling mistake. 'centralised' is British English.
centralised
leadership neither in our
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
nor in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
That is
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reason why the Board of Directors and the Congress plays such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.

To sum up, even the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
may have an indirect effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around,
therefore
consulting with one's close friends or family is
strongly
advised. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concern the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on a larger scale, then we, most definitely,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
assure to receive an unbiased feedback
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making an informed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay A person should never make an important decision alone. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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