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A lot of social problems can be related to teenagers these days. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time to take care of their teenage child. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

A lot of social problems can be related to teenagers these days. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time to take care of their teenage child. v. 2
Youngsters in their teens today, are becoming a source for a lot of social issues. There is a great majority of people who have an opinion that this is because parents do not spend much time to look after their offsprings. This essay will discuss why I agree with the aforementioned. In today's burgeoning competition, people thrive to be successful in their respective fields. For that, they work a lot harder and often miss out on spending a good amount of time with their children and family. To illustrate, with IT industry expanding with the current pace, an individual is willful to break the norms and work overtime to go hand in hand with other people in the same profession thus remaining aloof from the family time, particularly their young ones. These are some of the facts which explain the increasing differences between the parents and their adolescents. In addition, modern day youngsters are also somewhat guilty of not devoting much time to their kin. They prefer giving most of their time to their pals thus leaving their parents longing for their love. To support this fact, in the USA, it has been found in a survey, that about 40% of the people in their teenage like spending much of their free time with their friends as they find a great sense of leeway there. It is for these reasons why today, parents and their children are not able to spend much of the time together. To sum things up, teenagers today give rise to a lot of problems for the community. This essay discussed why I agree that parents should spend much more time with their family than what they are doing at present.
Youngsters in their teens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, are becoming a source for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
social issues. There is a great majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have an opinion that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
. This essay will discuss why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the aforementioned.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's burgeoning competition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thrive to be successful in their respective fields. For that, they work a lot harder and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
miss out on spending a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children and family. To illustrate, with IT industry expanding with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pace, an individual is willful to break the norms and work overtime to go hand in hand with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the same profession
thus
remaining aloof from the family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
particularly
their young ones. These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
facts which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the increasing differences between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their adolescents.

In addition
, modern day youngsters are
also
somewhat guilty of not devoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their kin. They prefer giving most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their pals
thus
leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
longing for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. To support this fact, in the USA, it has
been found
in a survey, that about 40% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their teenage like spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
of their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends as they find a great sense of leeway there. It is for these reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their children are not able to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together.

To sum things up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
give rise to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems for the community. This essay discussed why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family than what they are doing at present.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay A lot of social problems can be related to teenagers these days. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time to take care of their teenage child. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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