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A lot of social problems can these days be related to teenagers. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time and take care of their teenage child. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

A lot of social problems can these days be related to teenagers. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time and take care of their teenage child. v. 1
The number of teenagers impacted by social problems is on the rise. Many believe that the root cause of this is the inability of the parents to give time and support to their children. This essay will argue why despite the overhaul of social media and technology, educating children about social issues is completely the responsibility of the parents. Today’s teenagers face many social problems such as online bullying and body shaming. Some children are able to talk about them to their friends, teachers or relatives and get adequate support. There are also many social forums like support groups, grooming classes to name a few, which educates children about the current social problems and how to deal with them. For instance, schools have started to include a mandatory counselling for students of age group 12-18 years. This helps them to learn about the causes of these issues and ways to avoid them in a cordial environment. Because of these few reasons, many believe that teenagers are equipped to deal with social problems and take care of themselves. Although, children have all the required support these days, but when it comes to discussing a problem or seeking advice, they still look up to their parents. Thus, it is the duty of the parents to take time out from their schedules and support them. Moreover, parents must indulge in activities with their children and foster their hobbies. A study by Harvard University suggested that teenagers who on average spend 6-7 hours per week with their parents have 40 percent less chances to suffer from any kind of social problems. These few reasons bolster the notion that it is completely the responsibility of parents to seek time for their teenage children and take care of their mental health. To conclude, it is evident that no matter how many relatives or friends a teenager might have, nothing comes closer to spending time and talking with parents. Hence, I strongly agree that parents must put all their endeavor to spend quality time with their children and educate them about the common problems that teenagers face these days.
The number of
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teenagers
impacted by
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social
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problems
is on the rise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that the root cause of this is the inability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
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support
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will argue why despite the overhaul of
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social
media and technology, educating
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children
about
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social
issues is completely the responsibility of the parents.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
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teenagers
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as online bullying and body shaming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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children
are able to talk about them to their friends, teachers or relatives and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adequate
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support
. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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social
forums like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
groups, grooming classes to name a few, which educates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and how to deal with them.
For instance
, schools have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to include a mandatory counselling for students of age group 12-18 years. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to learn about the causes of these issues and ways to avoid them in a cordial environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these few reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that
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teenagers
are equipped
to deal with
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and take care of themselves.

Although,
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children
have all the required
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support
these days,
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but
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to discussing a
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problem
or seeking advice, they
still
look up to their
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parents
.
Thus
, it is the duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
out from their schedules and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
them.
Moreover
,
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parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
indulge in activities with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and foster their hobbies. A study by Harvard University suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who on average spend 6-7 hours per week with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have 40 percent
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances to suffer from any kind of
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social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. These few reasons bolster the notion that it is completely the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and take care of their mental health.

To conclude
, it is evident that no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
relatives or friends a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
might have, nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
closer to spending
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time
and talking with
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parents
.
Hence
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put all their endeavor to spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and educate them about the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
face these days.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay A lot of social problems can these days be related to teenagers. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time and take care of their teenage child. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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