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A lot of social problems can be related to teenagers these days. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time to take care of their teenage child. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

A lot of social problems can be related to teenagers these days. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time to take care of their teenage child. v. 3
In contemporary society, top priority has been given to youth as its importance in individual growth and social development. There is a controversial discussion among people that many social problems committed by teenagers are mostly blamed to parents’ inadequant accompany. For my perspective, I strongly disagree with it, and I reckon social media and school have more essential impacts on this phenomenon. To begin with, contents published on social media are not likely all optimistic for adolescents. It is commonly known that internet users have the right to speak free online to express their perosonal opinions. Since this case, questionable contents such as violence and pornography are easily imitated by teenagers due to immature value system. With that being said, parents are unlikely to prohibit teenagers’ usage of social media in order to prevent imitation. In addition, school plays an undeniable role in youths’ social problems as most of them spend a large amount of time in school during week days. Without a doubt, teachers in school should not only impart textbook knowledge, but also teach correct behaviours. For example, young students have higher change to learn poor behaviours such as bully during school if teachers do not correct them immediately. Parents, in this case, are unaware of nothing if no one acknowledge them. To sum up, I would certainly object the concept that parents are the main reason for teenagers’ delinquency. As far as I am concerned, social media and schools should be more responsible for this phenomenon due to negative impacts from social media and late behaviour correction from schools.
In contemporary society, top priority has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to youth as its importance in individual growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development. There is a controversial discussion among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problems committed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are
mostly
blamed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
Possible spelling mistake found.
inadequant
accompany. For my perspective, I
strongly
disagree with it, and I reckon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have more essential impacts on this phenomenon.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, contents published on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are not likely all optimistic for adolescents. It is
commonly
known that internet users have the right to speak free online to express their
Possible spelling mistake found.
perosonal
opinions. Since this case, questionable contents such as violence and pornography are
easily
imitated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
due to immature value system. With that
being said
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unlikely to prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers’
usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
imitation.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
plays an undeniable role in youths’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problems as most of them spend a large amount of time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
during week days. Without a doubt, teachers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
impart textbook knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teach correct
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
For example
, young students have higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to learn poor
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
such as bully during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
if teachers do not correct them immediately.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
,
in this case
, are unaware of nothing if no one acknowledge them.

To sum up, I would
certainly
object the concept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers’
delinquency. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be more responsible for this phenomenon due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and late
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
correction from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay A lot of social problems can be related to teenagers these days. Some feel that this is because parents are not able to spend enough time to take care of their teenage child. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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