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In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. v. 2
Smoking has been banned in public places like parks, hospitals, public transport and restaurants in many nations. This essay agrees with this initiative because it reduces the harmful effects of passive smoking and also encourages smokers to quit. The primary reason why making it illegal to smoke in public makes sense is preventing people from having to breathe in second-hand smoke. Passive smoking can lead to many smoking-related diseases such as lung cancer, heart disease and stroke, and is something that non-smokers cannot avoid in the presence of a smoker. The British Medical Association found that non-smokers who were regularly exposed to tobacco smoke were 4 times more likely to develop lung cancer, than those who did not have to breathe in second-hand smoke. The second main reason is that this ban helps those addicted to cigarettes quit their habit. When smokers and non-smokers socialise together, the smokers are often ostracised from the group because they have to leave the company of everyone else if they want to light up. As a result, smokers who decided to quit would feel more a part of the social gatherings they attend, and this should encourage people who smoke to give it up. This has proven particularly effective in Ireland, the first country to introduce a nationwide ban, where people have to leave a bar or restaurant and smoke outside. In conclusion, making it against the law to smoke around strangers should be encouraged because it prevents innocent people from dying of passive smoking and reduces the number of smokers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
has
been banned
in public places like parks, hospitals, public transport and restaurants in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this initiative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the harmful effects of passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and
also
encourages smokers to quit.

The primary reason why making it illegal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
in public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense is preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from having to breathe in second-hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
. Passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
smoking-related diseases such as lung cancer, heart disease and stroke, and is something that non-smokers cannot avoid in the presence of a smoker. The British Medical Association found that non-smokers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
regularly
exposed to tobacco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
were 4 times more likely to develop lung cancer, than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
breathe in second-hand smoke.

The second main reason is that this ban
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
those addicted to cigarettes quit their habit. When smokers and non-smokers
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
together, the smokers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
Possible spelling mistake. 'ostracised' is British English.
ostracised
from the group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of everyone else if they want to light up.
As a result
, smokers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
decided to quit would feel more a part of the social gatherings they attend, and this should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
to give it up. This has proven
particularly
effective in Ireland, the
first
country to introduce a nationwide ban, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a bar or restaurant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
outside.

In conclusion
, making it against the law to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
around strangers should
be encouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from dying of passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the number of smokers.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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