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A growing number of people work by telecommuting, that is, the employee works from home, using a computer and the Internet to connect with the office. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working this way? v.1

A growing number of people work by telecommuting, that is, the employee works from home, using a computer and the Internet to connect with the office. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working this way? v. 1
The worldwide tourism industry has been the main moneymaking area of our time. However, there is an argument that travel enterprise does not advance a better understanding of people with diverse cultural backgrounds, while it just contributes to pressure among existing nations. It is undeniable that travelling may be a factor of tension; however, this essay still disagrees with that and will attempt to indicate some reasons to support the claim. On the one hand, it is understandable why some individuals may believe that stress between world citizens was created by the tourist organization service. For example, in Thailand, where international travelling is a major industry of external income, there are several social media crisis about how foreigners behave and underestimate the Thai culture. These problems tend to be raised in tension issue; nevertheless, they do not play any vital roles in the world of travel agency services. On the other hand, the reason why the travelling business leads to the comprehensive notion among people around the world is that tourism allows people from different continents to access and learn the actual custom about where they afford to go to. For example, a part of the plan travellers tend to complete before their trip is to do some research for the local lifestyle which will allow them to understand more about their dream location. By researching before going abroad and the opportunity to experience the real tradition, people will be able to understand how each country differs from the others. To conclude, there might be some issues similar to what I have mentioned earlier occur, nonetheless, it is undeniable that the international tourism industry contributes to the appropriate notion of people from different countries. It is because tourists are connected and allow to experience the virtual image of local traditions. Therefore, it is completely not agreeable to claim that overseas trip leads to tension.
The worldwide tourism industry has been the main moneymaking area of our time.
However
, there is an argument that travel enterprise does not advance a better understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with diverse cultural backgrounds, while it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
contributes to pressure among existing nations. It is undeniable that travelling may be a factor of tension;
however
, this essay
still
disagrees with that and will attempt to indicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to support the claim.

On the one hand, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals may believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
between world citizens
was created
by the tourist organization service.
For example
, in Thailand, where international travelling is a major industry of external income, there are several social media crisis about how foreigners behave and underestimate the Thai culture. These problems tend to
be raised
in tension issue;
nevertheless
, they do not play any vital roles in the world of travel agency services.

On the other hand
, the reason why the travelling business leads to the comprehensive notion among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world is that tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
continents to access and learn the actual custom about where they afford to go to.
For example
, a part of the plan
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
tend to complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their trip is to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research for the local lifestyle which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to understand more about their dream location. By researching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going abroad and the opportunity to experience the real tradition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to understand how each country differs from the others.

To conclude
, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues similar to what I have mentioned earlier occur, nonetheless, it is undeniable that the international tourism industry contributes to the appropriate notion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
tourists
are connected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to experience the virtual image of local traditions.
Therefore
, it is completely not agreeable to claim that overseas trip leads to tension.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people work by telecommuting, that is, the employee works from home, using a computer and the Internet to connect with the office. What are the advantages and disadvantages of working this way? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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