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A growing number of people feel that animals should to be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research discuss b v.1

A growing number of people feel that animals should to be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research discuss b v. 1
It is true that flying through the air is no longer costly these days, hence many tourists travel abroad. I believe this brings advantages such as an increase in employment opportunities and forex reserve, which outweigh the disadvantages. Admittedly, there are many drawbacks which tourists bring while travelling. One of them is an increase in the crime rate. To elucidate, most tourists travel around the city with their valuable items such as a camera or cash, which could be robbed and sold easily by the local people. For example, in the recent article in the Times of India mentioned that there is a reduction in the eastern part of India as there is an increase in the robbery to the foreigners. Another negative side is a small contribution to global warming. Since cheap air ticket has increased the travel around the world, this brings the rise in the temperature of the earth by creating air pollution. Despite these disadvantages, in my opinion, there are positive sides which outweigh such disadvantages. One major advantage is the rise in employment opportunities. As foreigners are able to travel easily and visit a different part of the cities or countries to explore them, it gives an increase in the job opportunities not only in the hotels and bars but also in local shops and local transport industry. For example, in a survey conducted by the UAE government found that there is a decrease in unemployment by 10% in 2019 because lower paid jobs increased in the hotels and more local shops opened. Moreover, such tourism industry also boosts the economy in terms of the constructions of hotels, shops and automobiles. In conclusion, even though there are many downsides to the tourism industry due to cheap airline tickets, I think that it brings more low paid jobs to the local people rather than having no jobs in hand and helps in the development.
It is true that flying through the air is no longer costly these days,
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad. I believe this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
advantages such as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in employment opportunities and forex reserve, which outweigh the disadvantages.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks which tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
while travelling. One of them is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the crime rate. To elucidate, most tourists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
around the city with their valuable items such as a camera or cash, which could
be robbed
and sold
easily
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, in the recent article in
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
mentioned that there is a reduction in the eastern part of India as there is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the robbery to the foreigners. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
contribution to global warming. Since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
air ticket has increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
around the world, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
the rise in the temperature of the earth by creating air pollution.

Despite these disadvantages, in my opinion, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides which outweigh such disadvantages. One major advantage is the rise in employment opportunities. As foreigners are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
easily
and visit a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the cities or countries to explore them, it gives an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the hotels and bars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
transport industry.
For example
, in a survey conducted by the UAE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
found that there is a decrease in unemployment by 10% in 2019
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lower paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
increased in the hotels and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops opened.
Moreover
, such tourism industry
also
boosts the economy in terms of the constructions of hotels, shops and automobiles.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
downsides to the tourism industry due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
airline tickets, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
more low paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
than having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in hand and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in the development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should to be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research discuss b v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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