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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that human must employ animals to satisfy their various needs including food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that human must employ animals to satisfy their various needs including food and research. v. 1
Humans are considered the most superior creature in the world. There are two schools of thought, one thinks that wildlife should have equal rights as human beings and they should not be abused, while others consider them as a tool for different purposes, particularly with regard to meal and investigation. I believe that animals should be treated and dealt with respect, at the same time, humans have certain necessities where animals can play a role. Livestock is the second most advanced living organism on the planet. Animals should be handled carefully and courteously and should be given the same level of support and freedom. They also tend to outperform humans on various platforms. Take the dog, for example, it has a tremendous sense of smell and can be used in various departments including police to assist in achieving the task. On the contrary, to my previous point, others feel that people should use animals to fulfil their requirements, such as food and research. The majority of stocks meat has various nutrients, including protein, carbohydrate, and fat, and can be utilized by individuals to satisfy their dietary needs. Moreover, they can also be used for study purposes, such as evaluating the outcome of different medicines and treatments as many wild creatures system functions similar to humans. To conclude, many think that humans and animals should have equal rights, however, there are others, who disagree with that. I feel that they should be respected and honoured, but there are certain fields such as poultry and medicine where they can prove useful to human beings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
are considered
the most superior creature in the world. There are two schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that wildlife should have equal rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
beings and
they should not
be abused
, while others consider them as a tool for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes,
particularly
with regard to meal and investigation. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be treated
and dealt with respect, at the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have certain necessities where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can play a role.

Livestock is the second most advanced living organism on the planet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
should
be handled
carefully
and
courteously
and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the same level of support and freedom. They
also
tend to outperform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
on various platforms. Take the dog,
for example
, it has a tremendous sense of smell and can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in various departments including police to assist in achieving the task.

On the contrary
, to my previous point, others feel that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to fulfil their requirements, such as food and research. The majority of stocks meat has various nutrients, including protein, carbohydrate, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and can
be utilized
by individuals to satisfy their dietary needs.
Moreover
, they can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for study purposes, such as evaluating the outcome of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
medicines and treatments as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wild
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "creatures'" or "creature's"?
creatures
system functions similar to humans.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should have equal rights,
however
, there are others, who disagree with that. I feel that they should
be respected
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are certain fields such as poultry and medicine where they can prove useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that human must employ animals to satisfy their various needs including food and research. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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