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Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v.16

Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v. 16
It has been believed that a famous person can influence the public with their opinions. With the advancement of internet, young generation follow them. It has often argued that celebrities have a negative impact on an individual and the society; other support that they can positively influence the youngsters. This essay will illustrate my agreements on the merits of famous stars to the society followed by relevant examples. The first and foremost advantage of being a celebrity is that the public have trust and faith in their actions and views. In the technological world, social media telecast the latest trend and fashion of entertainment stars. Besides, people give respect to them. For instance, when a movie star promotes any brand products, people having a belief in them will trust the brand too. Hence, popular people are considered as most respectable members in society. Another advantage is that they bring prestige and glory to the nation. Being a popular sports person, the player is honoured at several international level events such as the Olympic games, Asian games. For instance, Indian sports players are well known for their hard-word and dedication, they have established the name of the county at various game competitions. Furthermore, they help in the economic growth of the nation by promoting events sponsored by international organizations. To conclude, people find drawbacks of popular person opinion on a public topic. However, celebrities work benefits to the individuals and society overshadow the negative effects. Therefore, in my opinion, celebrities provide benefits such as financial gains, public recognition and appreciation to the domestic society and worldwide too. Sports person promotes healthy lifestyle to the society and encourage youngsters to actively participate in curriculum activities.
It has
been believed
that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
with their opinions. With the advancement of internet, young generation follow them. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on an individual and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
; other support that they can
positively
influence the youngsters. This essay will illustrate my agreements on the merits of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
stars to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
followed by relevant examples.

The
first
and foremost advantage of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
have trust and faith in their actions and views. In the technological world, social media telecast the latest trend and fashion of entertainment stars.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give respect to them.
For instance
, when a movie star promotes any brand products,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having a belief in them will trust the brand too.
Hence
, popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are considered
as most respectable members in society.

Another advantage is that they bring prestige and glory to the nation. Being a popular sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, the player is
Possible spelling mistake. 'honoured' is British English.
honoured
at several international level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
, Asian games.
For instance
, Indian sports players are well known for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-word and dedication, they have established the name of the county at various game competitions.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the economic growth of the nation by promoting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
sponsored by international organizations.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find drawbacks of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
opinion on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
topic.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
work benefits to the individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
overshadow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.
Therefore
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
provide benefits such as financial gains,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
recognition and appreciation to the domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and worldwide too. Sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
promotes healthy lifestyle to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and encourage youngsters to
actively
participate in curriculum activities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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