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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 5
Nowadays, people are more cautious about equal rights regardless of different species. Many opine that animals possess equal rights as human race and should not be exploited by the mankind. However, others believe, animals must be used for different purposes, such as, for research or as a food resource. In my opinion, animals should be employed to fulfill various needs and to add comfort in human life. Every creature has equal importance in this world. Animals add beauty in our life. As an illustration, statistics by the psychology department of Pakistan revealed, people who often visit serene places such as jungles or zoo suffer less from depression as compared to others. Thus animals play a vital role in our life and their uniqueness should be taken care off. Humans are considered superior to other species in every aspect of life. Therefore, many believe that they can use other creatures for their own benefits. To illustrate, many drugs are tried on animals instead of humans due to their unpredictable outcomes. Hence, the mankind get advantage of animals by not only doing research, but by using them as a food source. People slaughter animals to obtain nutrition, as the meat from them is full of vitamins and minerals. Ultimately produce a positive impact on health. To conclude, major proportion of people believes that animals should not be misused for human benefits as they are equally important. However, in my view, animals should be used for various purposes to ease the mankind. This trend will increase in foreseeable future.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more cautious about equal rights regardless of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
possess equal rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race and should not
be exploited
by the mankind.
However
, others believe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes, such as, for research or as a food resource. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be employed
to fulfill various needs and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
comfort in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life.

Every creature has equal importance in this world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
beauty in our life. As an illustration, statistics by the psychology department of Pakistan revealed,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit serene places such as jungles or zoo suffer less from depression as compared to others.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play a vital role in our life and their uniqueness should
be taken
care off.

Humans
are considered
superior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species in every aspect of life.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
creatures for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drugs
are tried
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
due to their unpredictable outcomes.
Hence
, the mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
doing research,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by using them as a food source.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
slaughter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to obtain nutrition, as the meat from them is full of vitamins and minerals.
Ultimately
produce a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on health.

To conclude
, major proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be misused
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
benefits as they are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
However
, in my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for various purposes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the mankind. This trend will increase in foreseeable future.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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