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In many western countries there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v.1

In many western countries there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v. 1
It is thought by a plethora of individuals that western couples prefer to choose a child-free life has increased at an exponential pace. These trends bring about numerous advantages like it allows them to lighten their careers and saves money for elder life, however, the downside is that they feel isolated and depressed when they get older. on the one hand, there are many advantages to have a child-free life. Firstly, couples can spend their money on fulfilling their dreams and accomplishing their aspirations. Moreover, it is relatively easier for non-parenting couples to pursue their higher education in their desired professions and improve their skills at any age as they do not need to save money and energy for the children. Therefore, they don't need to work for a host of hours to earn more money for their children education and can save money for their leisure activities and elderly life. For instance, a recent study conducted by oxford university students shows that married couples having no children tends to live a fruitful and happier life than those who have children. However, the drawback of having a child-free life is undeniable. One major problem when people do not have children is that they suffer from loneliness when they get older. Therefore, they might miss their mental and emotional support which is extremely imperative for the elderly people. Moreover, they feel isolated, depressed and health problems in the later age of their life. As a result, they have to live in old homes in order to get proper attention and care. To conclude, even though there are the advantages of having a child-free life, which helps them in fulfilling their dreams and desires, there is a downside in that they supper from loneliness and health problems.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by a plethora of individuals that western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
prefer to choose a child-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has increased at an exponential pace. These trends bring about numerous advantages like it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to lighten their careers and saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
however
, the downside is that they feel isolated and depressed when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to have a child-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
can spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on fulfilling their dreams and accomplishing their aspirations.
Moreover
, it is
relatively
easier for non-parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
to pursue their higher education in their desired professions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at any age as they do not need to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and energy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, they don't need to work for a host of hours to earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
education and can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their leisure activities and elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, a recent study conducted by oxford university students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a fruitful and happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than those who have children.

However
, the drawback of having a child-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is undeniable. One major problem when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that they suffer from loneliness when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older.
Therefore
, they might miss their mental and emotional support which is
extremely
imperative for the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Moreover
, they feel isolated, depressed and health problems in the later age of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
homes in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper attention and care.

To conclude
,
even though
there are the advantages of having a child-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in fulfilling their dreams and desires, there is a downside in that
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they supper
from loneliness and health problems.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay In many western countries there are an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children. What are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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