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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.27

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 27
People have different views about treatment of animals. While there are some good arguments in favour of treating animals in the same way humans are, I believe that it is better use them as we desire for food and medical research. There are certain people in society which claim that animals should be treated fairly by human beings. The reason is they are also living creatures, and they have the same feelings like humans, such as happiness, pain, and so on. Therefore, they deserve the treatment in the right way. Moreover, killing animals for human needs may destroy the balance of nature. Because, animals have their own ways of population control and harmful human activities are not morally acceptable. On the other hand, some individuals argue that animals are created to fulfil human needs. Firstly, animals are important as food sources. They provide people nutrition, which is essential for living. For instance, sheep are consumed because of being high in protein Secondly, animal research brings in manifold benefits for human life, especially in education. Results from animal studies are crucial for closing knowledge gaps about health and disease in both humans and animals. Understanding cell and organ function help researchers design experiments to test new treatments in people. For example, several new drugs are being tested in some mice or monkeys before they are being tested on human beings. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against treatment of animals. However, it seems to me that animals have the same rights as humans and deserve to be treated fairly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the same way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are, I believe that it is better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them as we desire for food and medical research.

There are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society which claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be treated
fairly
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings. The reason is they are
also
living creatures, and they have the same feelings
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, such as happiness, pain, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, they deserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
in the right way.
Moreover
, killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the balance of nature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways of population control and harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities are not
morally
acceptable.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are created
to fulfil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as food sources. They provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nutrition, which is essential for living.
For instance
, sheep
are consumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being high in protein
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
research brings in manifold benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life,
especially
in education. Results from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
studies are crucial for closing knowledge gaps about health and disease in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Understanding cell and organ function
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
researchers design experiments to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, several new drugs are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mice or monkeys
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments both for and against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
However
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have the same rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and deserve to
be treated
fairly
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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