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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views? v.32

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 32
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about what students should pursue after finishing high school. While some people believe that entering a university or college will guarantee a successful career in the future, others state that working right after school is a better option. This essay will discuss these two opinions. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why many people think that taking part in the labour market soon is more pivotal. One reason is that there are numerous poor students, who could hardly afford their tuition fees since they have to make ends meet for a living and therefore working straight after school is the best way to help them economically independent. The sooner they work, the more money they will earn. As a result, they might easily support their own families and personal lives. Another undeniable benefit is that young workers can gain considerable maturity. This is because working at this early stage of age would allow young employees to obtain a lot of real experiences from working environment. Thus, they are more likely to be more mature and responsible for their lives. On the other hand, getting a higher education can bring some advantages. Firstly, it could give students countless opportunities to become qualified employees thanks to the academic knowledge and professional skills taught in a university or college. For example, having a doctorate would be an obvious benefit that university graduates have. This is because the hospital requires applicants with specific knowledge and relevant skill set which could hardly be learned if ones did not attend educational institutions. Furthermore, taking an education course will give students time to consider the most suitable job for themselves in the future. Studying at a university will not only can individuals get more chances to achieve significant remuneration after graduation, but the more time to discover their potential job. In conclusion, working right after school could bring a great number of benefits. However, studying at higher education is not a bad choice.
Nowadays, an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concerned
about what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pursue after finishing high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that entering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college will guarantee a successful career in the future, others state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
right after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a better option. This essay will discuss these two opinions.

On the one hand, there are two main reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that taking part in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
is more pivotal. One reason is that there are numerous poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, who could hardly afford their tuition fees since they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
for a living and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
straight after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
economically
independent. The sooner they work, the more money they will earn.
As a result
, they might
easily
support their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
families and personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Another undeniable benefit is that young workers can gain considerable maturity. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at this early stage of age would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
young employees to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
real experiences from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment.
Thus
, they are more likely to be more mature and responsible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, getting a higher education can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
Firstly
, it could give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
countless opportunities to become qualified employees thanks to the academic knowledge and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
taught in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college.
For example
, having a doctorate would be an obvious benefit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduates have. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the hospital requires applicants with specific knowledge and relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set which could hardly
be learned
if ones did not attend educational institutions.
Furthermore
, taking an education course will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
time to consider the most suitable job for themselves in the future. Studying at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more chances to achieve significant remuneration after graduation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the more time to discover their potential job.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
right after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could bring a great number of benefits.
However
, studying at higher education is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
choice.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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