Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.21

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 21
More and more people say that animal rights should be considered same as humans. Therefore, people have never used these creatures unfairly. However, other people consider animals as a creature for humanity interests and human can exploit them for different demands such as food and research. Overall, both of views have some positive and negative aspects and they are controversial. However, I believe that people should choose alternative strategies in food sources and research fields. There are two controversial views about animal rights. Some people feel that animals are created for humans and people can exploit them for satisfying human needs. Therefore, they believe that meat and poultry are rich in protein, vitamins and minerals which are vital as healthy food sources. On the other hand, humans cope with different disease and disorders and scientists have to use animals as a research model in medical fields. Therefore, this group of people believes that killing animals are morally acceptable and inevitable. But most of the people believe that animals have a same right as humans. In fact, they feel that people can choose alternative strategies and we have not to use animals as food. It means green vegetation and food are high in protein, vitamins and minerals while in contrast to meat, they are low in animal fats. Also, technology development can scientist to use cells as a research model for investigation in medical fields. Hence, humans do not have to make various excuses for abusing animals. In conclusion, animal rights are controversial viewpoints and there are different opinions about ethical issues in dealing with animals. In my view, animals have the same rights as humans and we must not exploit them for human interests.
More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
should
be considered
same as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
these creatures
unfairly
.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a creature for humanity interests and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
can exploit them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
demands such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Overall
, both of views have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
aspects and
they are controversial.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose alternative strategies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sources and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
fields.

There are two controversial views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are created
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can exploit them for satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs.
Therefore
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that meat and poultry are rich in protein, vitamins and minerals which are vital as healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sources.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
cope with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
disease and disorders and scientists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
model in medical fields.
Therefore
, this group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
morally
acceptable and inevitable.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. In fact, they feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose alternative
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
strategies and
we have not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. It means green vegetation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are high in protein, vitamins and minerals while
in contrast
to meat, they are low in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
fats.
Also
, technology development can scientist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cells as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
model for investigation in medical fields.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
various excuses for abusing animals.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
are controversial viewpoints and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about ethical issues in dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
humans and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not exploit them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interests.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts