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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v.34

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 34
It is claimed by an overwhelming majority of people that there are serious dangers associated with the use of nuclear technology. I am of the opinion that while the nuclear power has the ability to pose the greatest threat to the life on the planet, it can ease the fuel shortage and addresses some environmental concerns. There are two prominent reasons why nuclear potential can be seen as a threat. Firstly, despite the high sophisticated safety system of nuclear capacity plant, there is no guarantee that the decisions which are taken are the best. Some wrong decisions during the management of nuclear energy plants can lead to a tragic incident, which have long term consequences for the people, the environment and the facilities. A typical example is Chernobyl disaster 1986 which results in the death of thousands individuals and large monetary costs for repairing the planet. Moreover, it can be used as nuclear bombs which can devastate an entire city by blast, fire and radiation. Nuclear weapons have been used twice in war, both by the United States against Japan near the end of World War II. These bombing caused the death of approximately 200, 000 individuals. On the other hand, the earth is now facing an unprecedented resources problem. Fossil fuels such as coal and oil are produced by the very gradual decaying of animals and plants over millions of year and fossil fuels are consumed at a faster pace than they are produced. Consequently, the overuse or scarcity of some natural resources on earth is a serious problem. In addition, burning fossil fuels seriously damage the environment. Our planet is now facing global warming and global climate changing owing to carbon dioxide and other pollutants which are emitted from burning fossil fuels. These problems can be tackled by using the nuclear function. Uranium is the main element required to run the nuclear reactors where nuclear influence is extracted. As uranium is found everywhere in the crust of the earth and even scientists are able to recover it from sea water, so the raw material is not a matter of considerable concern. Furthermore, nuclear skill produces almost no carbon dioxide and other pollutants that are produced in vast quantities when fossil fuels are burned. In conclusion, I suppose that, nuclear power has proven to be worthwhile and even crucial to the survival of human civilisation.
It
is claimed
by an overwhelming majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that there are serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
associated with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of nuclear technology. I am of the opinion that while the nuclear power has the ability to pose the greatest threat to the life on the planet, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
shortage and addresses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
environmental concerns.

There are two prominent reasons why nuclear potential can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a threat.
Firstly
, despite the high sophisticated safety system of nuclear capacity plant, there is no guarantee that the decisions which
are taken
are the best.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decisions during the management of nuclear energy plants can lead to a tragic incident, which have long term consequences for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the environment and the facilities. A typical example is Chernobyl disaster 1986 which results in the death of thousands individuals and large monetary costs for repairing the planet.
Moreover
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as nuclear bombs which can devastate an entire city by blast, fire and radiation. Nuclear weapons have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
twice in war, both by the United States against Japan near the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of World War II. These bombing caused the death of approximately 200, 000 individuals.

On the other hand
, the earth is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
facing an unprecedented
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "resources'" or "resource's"?
resources
problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
such as coal and oil
are produced
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
gradual decaying of animals and plants over millions of year and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
are consumed
at a faster pace than they
are produced
.
Consequently
, the overuse or scarcity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural resources on earth is a serious problem.
In addition
, burning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
seriously
damage the environment. Our planet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
facing global warming and global climate changing owing to carbon dioxide and other pollutants which
are emitted
from burning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
. These problems can
be tackled
by using the nuclear function. Uranium is the main element required to run the nuclear reactors where nuclear influence
is extracted
. As uranium
is found
everywhere in the crust of the earth and even scientists are able to recover it from sea water,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the raw material is not a matter of considerable concern.
Furthermore
, nuclear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
produces almost no carbon dioxide and other pollutants that
are produced
in vast quantities when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
are burned
.

In conclusion
, I suppose that, nuclear power has proven to be worthwhile and even crucial to the survival of human
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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