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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, (opposing opinion) while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for foo v.19

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, (opposing opinion) while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for foo v. 19
Scientists, and many other intelligent people have changed people's way of living by making advancement in technology during the last century. But a part of the society considers this progress as a negative impact on human beings. I completely disagree with their opinion as modernisation has made our lives easy and faster. This Essay will explain my views. Firstly, I would like to highlight the benefits of having a modern communication system. With the improvement in communicating methods, people can connect with any person in the world from any corner of the world. These latest features of communication have made the world very small. Consequently, people can do their business more effectively and conveniently without doing physical travelling. Many people are arguing that this has made our soft skills weaken and have made people less introvert. But with the proper use, one can actually improve these skills from sources available online, and this is also an advantage of progress in technology. Secondly, with the introduction of smart innovations into day to day life, people's life style has become more easy and efficient. Each and every person is relying on technology. For example, smart phones have made tasks like banking, education, business and shopping on one touch. Moreover, with the use of smart cars and smart houses people are not only saving energies, but also saving their time and increasing their productivity with less effort. Although pollution is the main concern, but with the advancement of technology, more and more alternatives are being invented to make environment cleaner and healthier. In conclusion, some people are considering this progress of technology as a disadvantage for human beings, but indeed, this advancement in technology has made our life easier and helping in our all daily routines. In my opinion, technological advancement has made our life more efficient and faster.
Scientists, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's way of living by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancement
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
during the last century.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
a part of the society considers this progress as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on human beings. I completely disagree with their opinion as
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernisation' is British English.
modernisation
has made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easy and faster. This Essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my views.

Firstly
, I would like to highlight the benefits of having a modern communication system. With the improvement in communicating methods,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect with any person in the world from any corner of the world. These latest features of communication have made the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do their business more
effectively
and
conveniently
without doing physical travelling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are arguing that this has made our soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
weaken and have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less introvert.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, one can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from sources available online, and this is
also
an advantage of progress in technology.

Secondly
, with the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
innovations into day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style has become more easy and efficient. Each and every person is relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
phones have made tasks like banking, education, business and shopping on one touch.
Moreover
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
cars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
saving energies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
saving their time and increasing their productivity with less effort. Although pollution is the main concern,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancement
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, more and more alternatives are
being invented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
environment cleaner and healthier.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are considering this progress of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as a disadvantage for human beings,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
indeed
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancement
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier and helping in our all daily routines. In my opinion, technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advancement
has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more efficient and faster.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, (opposing opinion) while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for foo v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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