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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v.1

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 1
It is crucial to consider how the government should spend its money. Whereas some people believe that investments should be focused on railroads rather than highways, others claim it must be the other way around. In my view, despite the roadways having arguably facilities, the track transport system can offer many more benefits. Firstly, trains is considered much greener to the planet than cars and motorcycles. This is because the former can carry dozens of people more than the latter in the same trip, besides applying considerably less fuel. To illustrate, while a car going from Chicago to New York could only take 5 people, at maximum, a caravan would do the same journey with hundreds of people inside it, emitting a fewer amount of harmful gases per person in the ozone layer. Thus, if train mode was encouraged and massively funded by the government, the country would be able to reduce its emission of greenhouse gases, so helping the world's nature. Furthermore, using railways is more economically sustainable than the usage of roads. The reason for this is that it is cheaper for companies to send their products through trains instead of buying or renting large numbers of lorries to transport it by road. A farm, for instance, is likely to drain all its harvest in just one train trip as it can be loaded with thousands of kilos. If the farm chose to do it using the roads, however, hundreds of trucks would be necessary to do the same job. In conclusion, due to its sustainability and economically appealing advantages, I believe governments must invest their money in the convoy method instead of the road mode.
It is crucial to consider how the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend its money. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that investments should
be focused
on railroads
rather
than highways, others claim it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be the other way around. In my view, despite the roadways having
arguably
facilities, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
transport system can offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more benefits.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
is considered
much greener to the planet than cars and motorcycles. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the former can carry dozens of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more than the latter in the same trip,
besides
applying
considerably
less fuel. To illustrate, while a car going from Chicago to New York could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, at maximum, a caravan would do the same journey with hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inside it, emitting a fewer amount of harmful gases per person in the ozone layer.
Thus
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
mode
was encouraged
and
massively
funded by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, the country would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its emission of greenhouse gases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
helping the world's nature.

Furthermore
, using railways is more
economically
sustainable than the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
The reason for this is
that it is cheaper for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their products through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
instead
of buying or renting large numbers of lorries to transport it by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. A farm,
for instance
, is likely to drain all its harvest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
trip as it can
be loaded
with thousands of kilos. If the farm chose to do it using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
however
, hundreds of trucks would be necessary to do the same job.

In conclusion
, due to its sustainability and
economically
appealing advantages, I believe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest their money in the convoy method
instead
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
mode.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper Do you think it is a positive or negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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