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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, (opposing opinion) while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for foo v.33

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, (opposing opinion) while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for foo v. 33
The rapid development of technology has changed the relationship between human and some kinds of animal, thinking the relationship that the horse has been replaced by car to human as a media of transportation. However, the state of the art technology has not extended its benefit to all kinds of animal, leading to the discussion on whether should humans use these kinds of animals on their own benefits. People are quite divided and this essay will discuss both sides of compelling arguments. On the one hand, peoples advocate the use of animals based on two reasons. Firstly, poultry is essential source of food to humans. Without animals, starvation will properly happen on everywhere, especially in the third world country. Another argument is that many drugs can be tested on mice and monkey before safely taking to human. The success of the drug invention can save many human life, even to animals itself. Therefore, exploitation of animals by human is a perfectly acceptable among the supporters. On the other hand, opponents believe that animals do have life as same as human beings and animal should share same rights as mankind. The first persuasive argument is that human actually no longer need poultry as a staple food to survive because our technology advancement has already made a biggest stride on agricultural industry to grow ample amount of vegetables, hence, enough food to share all human beings. In addition, scientists have further confirmed that vegetable is a more healthier option than meat. Therefore, there is no point to use animals as a food to humans. Another argument against the supporters is that most of the animals are not used in drug testing, but cosmetic research instead. This is ridiculous to sacrifice other life just because of our beauty. Personally speaking, until such time as computer can accurately simulate animal biological behaviors, it would be perhaps inevitable to use animals on drug testing as the research can benefit not only human, but also animal itself. Other than that, humans should stop using animals on their selfish actions. I strongly hope that, in one day, all kinds of animal, including mankind, can live peacefully and together create a utopia.
The rapid development of technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, thinking the relationship that the horse has
been replaced
by car to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a medium" or simply "media"?
a media
of transportation.
However
, the
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
technology has not extended its benefit to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, leading to the discussion on whether should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are quite divided and this essay will discuss both sides of compelling arguments.

On the one hand, peoples advocate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
based on two reasons.
Firstly
, poultry is essential source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, starvation will
properly
happen on everywhere,
especially
in the third world country. Another argument is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
on mice and monkey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
safely
taking to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. The success of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
invention can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life, even to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
itself.
Therefore
, exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is a
perfectly
acceptable among the supporters.

On the other hand
, opponents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
do have life as same as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
should share same rights as mankind. The
first
persuasive argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
actually no longer need poultry as a staple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to survive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our technology advancement has already made
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest stride on agricultural industry to grow ample amount of vegetables,
hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to share all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
In addition
, scientists have
further
confirmed that vegetable is a
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
option than meat.
Therefore
, there is no point to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Another argument against the supporters is that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
testing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cosmetic research
instead
. This is ridiculous to sacrifice other life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our beauty.

Personally
speaking, until such time as computer can
accurately
simulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
biological behaviors, it would be perhaps inevitable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
testing as the research can benefit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
itself. Other than that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on their selfish actions. I
strongly
hope that, in one day, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kinds
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, including mankind, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
and together create a utopia.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, (opposing opinion) while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for foo v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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