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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.17

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 17
Animals are important part of our ecosystem. Thus, it is our moral responsibility to safeguard them from different hazardous effects. A group of people believes that, animals should be treated alike humans. Another group of people, however, believes that, for our needs we should use animals. Both views will be critiqued further with relevant examples. To initiate with examining the former opinion, animals are have been ratify very helpful to fulfil various human requirements so, it is totally unjustified that we put animals' lives in a dangerous. There are immense alternatives are available to accomplish our necessities. Furthermore, by exploitation of animals we indirectly affected adversely. To elaborate, found are significant for the ecosystem, it they escape continuously then a whole cycle is imbalanced and more negative outcomes, which affects on humans' lives. On the contrary, some people in a favour of using animals because, according to the paramedical field, before administration of drugs on humans, it is necessary to frost test on animals. This, in turn, by analysing reactions on an animal, they can make changes in composition of drugs. Moreover, there are few specific vitamins and nutritions, which are only getting from animals rather than from fruits and vegetables. Hence, in order to acquire particular benefits, non-vegetarians are ready to kill and digest creatures. To infer and give my opinion, I would say that, with fast-paced of technology in every realm, we can find other ways to test medicines and have specific vitamins from other sources instead of falling innocent animals, which are the predominant part of the nature.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our ecosystem.
Thus
, it is our moral responsibility to safeguard them from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
hazardous effects. A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believes that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be treated
alike humans. Another group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, believes that, for our needs we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Both views will
be critiqued
further
with relevant examples.

To initiate with examining the former opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
been
Consider using a past participle here: "ratified".
ratify
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to fulfil various human requirements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is
totally
unjustified that we put animals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. There are immense alternatives are available to accomplish our necessities.
Furthermore
, by exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
we
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
. To elaborate, found are significant for the ecosystem,
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they escape
continuously
then a whole cycle
is imbalanced
and more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes, which affects on humans'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, according to the paramedical field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
administration of drugs on humans, it is necessary to frost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This, in turn, by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
reactions on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in composition of drugs.
Moreover
, there are few specific vitamins and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
rather
than from fruits and vegetables.
Hence
, in order to acquire particular benefits, non-vegetarians are ready to kill and digest creatures.

To infer and give my opinion, I would say that, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced of technology in every realm, we can find other ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
medicines and have specific vitamins from other sources
instead
of falling innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which are the predominant part of the nature.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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