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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.14

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 14
A large number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by humans. Furthermore, they should have the same rights as humans. On the other hand, the rest of the people argue that animals should be used to satisfy various human needs, like food and research. Both the sentences are correct on their part, but with slight differences. Firstly, this essay is going to explain the reason why animals should not be exploited by us. One of the major concerns as it has always been is animal exploitation. Most people argue that animals should have equal rights as humans. Exploiting animals is a major concern because of the extinction of many different species in the world. The government should make sure that such species are not being manipulated by any entity. Let’s take the example of tigers, In the past few years the tiger population of the world was highly diminishing and it led them on the verge of becoming extinct. A large proportion of people in the late 90's were poaching tigers and this created a lot of worries among people in Asia. With a lot of protests and conservation groups on the run the government decided to take strict measures to save the tiger population from going extinct. They took actions like banning all kinds of trade related to them, for example, selling tigers in circuses and poaching. Today, the tiger population has risen to almost 60%. Thanks to this act of conservation by the people. In my opinion, it is very essential for us to not let people exploit any animal, because it is the duty of people to protect them and yes they should also have their rights so that people do not misuse certain animals. While there are many people who want to save the animals by putting a ban on their exploitation, there are others who argue that they must use them to satisfy their needs such as food and research. As it is true that animals are required for our basic needs, but they should also be protected, because of the growing concern regarding global warming, we should minimise the consumption of meat in order to sustain our planet. As far as research is concerned, the associations should put a regulation on what can be used for research and how much of it can be used for the same. A recent study shows that by the 2050 most of our resources will diminish and sea levels will be at its highest. In order to avoid using animals as a food source scientists have now started growing meat in labs. By taking out one cell of a single animal, they have successfully grown meat in a laboratory. It is extremely necessary to take measures and avoid using animals as food source. In conclusion, this essay suggests that animals shouldn’t be exploited for human purposes and that using them for food source and research work should be very limited and should be under the observation of the righteous authorities. Conservation of animals is important for a better and sustainable world.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be exploited
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Furthermore
, they should have the same rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
On the other hand
, the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to satisfy various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
needs, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and research.

Both the sentences are correct on their part,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with slight differences.
Firstly
, this essay is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be exploited
by us.

One of the major concerns as it has always been is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
exploitation. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should have equal rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Exploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a major concern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species in the world. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that such species are not
being manipulated
by any entity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s take the example of tigers,

In the past few years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
population of the world was
highly
diminishing and it led them on the verge of becoming extinct. A large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the late
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90's
were poaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tigers
and this created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
worries among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Asia. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
protests and conservation groups on the run the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decided to take strict measures to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
population from going extinct. They took actions like banning all kinds of trade related to them,
for example
, selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tigers
in circuses and poaching.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
population has risen to almost 60%. Thanks to this act of conservation by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for us to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exploit any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to protect them and yes they should
also
have their rights
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not misuse certain animals.

While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by putting a ban on their exploitation, there are others who argue that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them to satisfy their needs such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. As it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are required
for our basic needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should
also
be protected
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the growing concern regarding global warming, we should
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the consumption of meat in order to sustain our planet. As far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is concerned
, the associations should put a regulation on what can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and how much of it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the same. A recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that by the 2050 most of our resources will diminish and sea levels will be at its highest. In order to avoid using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
source scientists have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
growing meat in labs. By taking out one cell of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, they have
successfully
grown meat in a laboratory. It is
extremely
necessary to take measures and avoid using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
source.

In conclusion
, this essay suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
shouldn’t
be exploited
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
purposes and that using them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
source and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
work should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited and should be under the observation of the righteous authorities. Conservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a better and sustainable world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 14

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
516 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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