Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Science will soon make it possible for people to live until 100 years, perhaps even to 200 years. Some people think that this would be a good thing. Others think that it would cause many problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Science will soon make it possible for people to live until 100 years, perhaps even to 200 years. Some people think that this would be a good thing. Others think that it would cause many problems. v. 1
In the near future scientists will extend the possibility of human survival up to 2 centuries. While some hold the opinion that this is a positive development, others believe it is a catastrophic one. This essay will discuss both these views followed by a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, many argue that a long life will come with many health repercussions. Owing to the fragility of the human body, it was only designed to sustain 70 or so years of life. Therefore, many health ramifications may arise such as heart disease, autoimmune diseases and infections. Which may affect older bodies on a larger scale, this is because, as we grow older our bodies become less equipped to dealing with disease because they lose essential cells and body functions that usually combat disease. For instance, the antibody ‘Human Leukotrine Factor 6’ decreased by 40% by the age of 45. This is an imperative bodily defense mechanism in dealing with foreign bodies, without it bodies are more susceptible to disease. However, being able to live up to 200 years is without a doubt an incredibly positive development. This is because those that have spent the early years of their life working and securing financial stability, who have missed out on developing their person relationships can now have a chance to do so with no distractions and interruptions. To exemplify, Human Timeline research conducted by Harvard University demonstrated that ‘a 60 year old male or female spend 60% of their lives working, 30% asleep and 10 percent for personal relations. ’ Prolonging human life gives us a chance to extend our personal relationships and deepen bonds. In conclusion, although there are many health complications that may arise from extending one’s life for so long, I believe they are worthwhile as people get to spend more time with their families and further explore their relationships and bonds.
In the near future scientists will extend the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
survival up to 2 centuries. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hold the opinion that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, others believe it is a catastrophic one. This essay will discuss both these views followed by a reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health repercussions. Owing to the fragility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
designed to sustain 70 or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health ramifications may arise such as heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, autoimmune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and infections. Which may affect older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
on a larger scale, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, as we grow older our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
become less equipped to dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lose essential cells and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
functions that
usually
combat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
For instance
, the antibody
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘Human
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leukotrine
Factor 6’ decreased by 40% by the age of 45. This is an imperative
bodily
defense mechanism in dealing with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
, without it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
are more susceptible to disease.

However
, being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to 200 years is without a doubt an
incredibly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those that have spent the early years of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
working and securing financial stability, who have missed out on developing their person relationships can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a chance to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
with no distractions and interruptions. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
Timeline research conducted by Harvard University demonstrated that ‘a 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
male or female spend 60% of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
working, 30% asleep and 10 percent for personal relations. ’ Prolonging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
gives us a chance to extend our personal relationships and deepen bonds.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health complications that may arise from extending one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long, I believe they are worthwhile as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to spend more time with their families and
further
explore their relationships and bonds.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Science will soon make it possible for people to live until 100 years, perhaps even to 200 years. Some people think that this would be a good thing. Others think that it would cause many problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts