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Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter explain why you changed jobs describe your new job tell him/her your other news v.1

Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter explain why you changed jobs describe your new job tell him/her your other news v. 1
Dear Sam, I’m writing to let you know that, I quit my old job and found something interesting. As you very well knew I was fed up with the desk job at this IT firm, I’ve finally decided to leave my desk behind to follow my passion. A few months back, I had realized that clicking photos make me happy and it keeps me on my toes for any new adventure. It is always a lovely moment around when I’m out on a photography tour. I’ve recently moved to Bangalore to get trained by an international photography job and also working as a part-time photographer in his firm. There is always a fun environment around the fellow photographers here as they never miss to capture any interesting moment which then creates memory for the lifetime. I’ve already learnt a lot of interesting and new tricks and tips from my mentor and I am hoping it to be a fun filled journey ahead as I have started liking him. I am planning to propose my mentor and I couldn’t hide it from you. We recently happened to cover a destination wedding and this is the first time I got to work with him closely. After the shoot we both happened to spend some time on the beach nearby and that is when I felt like I skipped a beat looking at him but I had not shared my feelings to him. Now that I have gathered some courage I’m planning to ask him out on a date. I will be visiting you after a couple of weeks and hopefully I will have a success story bout the secret date which I will share with you over a few drinks. Looking forward to meeting you. Jane
Dear Sam,

I’m writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that, I quit my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
job and found something interesting.

As you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well knew I
was fed
up with the desk job at this IT firm, I’ve
finally
decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
my desk behind to follow my passion. A few months back, I had realized that clicking photos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me happy and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
me on my toes for any new adventure. It is always a lovely moment around when I’m out on a photography tour.

I’ve recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Bangalore to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trained by an international photography job and
also
working as a part-time photographer in his firm. There is always a fun environment around the fellow photographers here as they never
The verb 'miss' is used with the gerund form: "miss capturing".
miss to capture
any interesting moment which then creates memory for the lifetime. I’ve already
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interesting and new tricks and tips from my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mentor and
I am hoping it to be a
Make sure that the adjective 'fun' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'filled'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
fun filled
journey ahead as I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
liking him.

I am planning to propose my mentor and I couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
it from you. We recently happened to cover a destination wedding and this is the
first
time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to work with him
closely
. After the shoot we both happened to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time on the beach nearby and
that is
when I felt like I skipped a beat looking at him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I had not shared my feelings to him.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that I have gathered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courage I’m planning to ask him out on a date.

I will be visiting you after a couple of weeks and
hopefully
I will have a success story bout the secret date which I will share with you over a few drinks.

Looking forward to meeting you.

Jane
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter explain why you changed jobs describe your new job tell him/her your other news v. 1

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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