Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.10

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 10
In this modern Era, Human Being are mostly Depend upon on animals in Various Fields. Some People feel that animals should not be exploited by them and they should have the same Rights as Humans, while others Are Argue that humans must Employ animals to satisfy their Various Needs, Including Uses of Food and Research. In my opinion, we have to use animals as a source of food and also Provide awareness to the people for Cure and Care Them Properly. First of all, Creatures have Same feeling as Human Being like- Pain, Happiness, Frustration and Other. Because these have also been created also Created by God and Features like humans. There are Various Things which cannot do with them. for Instance- Firstly people are capturing them in zoo for entertainment purpose. secondly, in various countries masses are using them for meat as a source of food. We cannot do such kind of activities with them. Because These Are Harmful for them. God Made Them for earth, so we Have also provided them equal Rights. On the other side, some people are saying they are playing Prominent Role in Human Needs and survival. The Main Reason It has ample of Benefits to human. for Example-scientist are using them for laboratory purpose, whereas they are doing research and experiment on them. furthermore, Farmers are using them for cultivation, which is beneficial for crops. These things are helping to the people for living purposes on this earth. In conclusion, basically people are mainly depending on animals. Some people are saying exploitation should be there with them, but others are arguing it. In my opinion, we have to use them as a good source of food and also guide to the people for the care and cure them Properly.
In this modern Era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
Being are
mostly
Depend upon on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Various
Fields.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be exploited
by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they should have the same Rights as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
, while others Are Argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to satisfy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Various
Needs, Including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Uses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
and Research. In my opinion, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
Provide awareness to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for Cure and Care Them
Properly
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Creatures have Same feeling as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
Being like- Pain, Happiness, Frustration and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
these have
also
been created
also
Created by God and Features like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Various
Things which cannot do with them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
Instance-
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are capturing them in zoo for entertainment purpose.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
countries masses are using them for meat as a source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. We cannot do such kind of activities with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
These Are Harmful for them. God Made Them for earth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we Have
also
provided them equal Rights.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are saying they are playing Prominent Role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
Needs and survival. The Main Reason It has ample of Benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
Example-scientist are using them for laboratory purpose, whereas they are doing research and experiment on them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, Farmers are using them for cultivation, which is beneficial for crops. These things are helping to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for living purposes on this earth.

In conclusion
,
basically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mainly
depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are saying exploitation should be there with them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others are arguing it. In my opinion, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
guide to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the care and cure them
Properly
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts