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Living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. v.1

Living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. v. 1
Nowadays there are a lot of opportunities for moving abroad either for studying or for working. Nobody would argue that it is difficult to live in a foreign country and speak the language that is differ from one's mother tongue. Personally, I completely agree with this statement. Firstly, it is well-known that foreigners struggle to communicate with citizens. Not everybody can easily hire an apartment or make an appointment in a hospital or pass an interview for a job or maybe book a ticket to the theatre. It makes most newcomers feel aside from the society and their quality of life is getting worse. Immigrants face all these social problems at the beginning of their life in another country. For example, people have difficulties even while talking on the phone or buying products in a supermarket. In addition, there are problems in speech of many immigrants due to the grammar or mispronunciation of some sounds or words which lead to misunderstanding and hence, to the problems in practical use of the language. Some individuals are quite shy and have a lot of complexes and if they make a mistake in their oral speech, they can suffer deeply and stop talking at all. For illustration, if a person does not speak fluently and at that time he is corrected by someone, he can become extremely upset and have psychological problems. In conclusion, I tend to think that there are plenty of serious problems in social and practical aspects of speaking foreign languages while living abroad.
Nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities for moving abroad either for studying or for working. Nobody would argue that it is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a foreign country and speak the language
that is
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
from one's mother tongue.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Firstly
, it is well-known that foreigners struggle to communicate with citizens. Not everybody can
easily
hire an apartment or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an appointment in a hospital or pass an interview for a job or maybe book a ticket to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
most newcomers feel aside from the society and their quality of life is getting worse. Immigrants face all these social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
at the beginning of their life in another country.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have difficulties even while talking on the phone or buying products in a supermarket.

In addition
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in speech of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
immigrants due to the grammar or mispronunciation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sounds or words which lead to misunderstanding and
hence
, to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the language.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals are quite shy and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
complexes and if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a mistake in their oral speech, they can suffer
deeply
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
talking at all. For illustration, if a person does not speak
fluently
and at that time he
is corrected
by someone, he can become
extremely
upset and have psychological problems.

In conclusion
, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in social and practical aspects of speaking foreign languages while living abroad.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Living in a country where you have to speak foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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