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Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v.2

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v. 2
In today's global society, increasing trend of immigration has a major impact on the community. Many people are migrating from developing to developed country because of the better health, life prospect and employment opportunity. The various impacts of this are elaborated further. To begin with, many people tend to migrate to other developed nation due to healthy lifestyle, to earn well and for better living standards. Many developed countries have higher employment wages, which is also one of the main advantages of migrating. These countries provide a variety of employment opportunities with higher pay packages. Moreover, these developed nations also provide free health care, high school education to kids, and welfare amenities to get settled in their place. For instance, united states provide free education to teenager till high school and also provides scholership for their higher studies. However, at times, not every migrats get the desired job of their domain. In this circumstances one has to end up taking other job apart from their field of experience for daily living. Additionally, immigrants inability to speak local language also pulls them back in getting a relevant work. Hence, keeps them out of contributing into the economy of the country. For example, many doctors are talking the job of a driver in United Kingdom, due to their inability to pass in lisenced examination. To summarise, immigration in society is an increasing treand because of the essential living standard in the developed nation, with the impact on the lower side making people to take the risk for a better life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's global society, increasing trend of immigration has a major impact on the community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrating from developing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the better health, life prospect and employment opportunity. The various impacts of this
are elaborated
further
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to migrate to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nation due to healthy lifestyle, to earn well and for better living standards.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have higher employment wages, which is
also
one of the main advantages of migrating. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a variety of employment opportunities with higher pay packages.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nations
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
free health care, high school education to kids, and welfare amenities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
settled in their place.
For instance
,
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
free education to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
till high school and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
Possible spelling mistake found.
scholership
for their higher studies.

However
, at times, not every
Possible spelling mistake found.
migrats
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the desired job of their domain. In this circumstances one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up taking other job apart from their field of experience for daily living.
Additionally
, immigrants inability to speak local language
also
pulls them back in getting a relevant work.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them out of contributing into the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doctors are talking the job of a driver
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
, due to their inability to pass in
Possible spelling mistake found.
lisenced
examination.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, immigration in society is an increasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
treand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the essential living standard in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
nation, with the impact on the lower side making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for a better life.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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