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A growing number of people feel animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both the views and give your opinion v.1

A growing number of people feel animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. 1
It is generally believed by a group of people that animal rights should be protected and they should not be used for experimentation by human beings while others believe that they can be consumed by human beings for edible requirements and used for research purposes. In my opinion, animals can be used for research purposes as a major breakthrough in the field of medicine came via experiment on animals. The protectors of animal rights believe that these creatures should not be used by human beings, neither for research nor for edible purposes. They believe all the essential nutrients required for the balanced diet of a healthy person can be procured from vegetables. Hence it is absolutely unnecessary to kill animals for this purpose. Moreover, the recent research conducted by veterinarians confirms that animals subjected to experiments also feel pain so it should be avoided. According to them this is the selfish nature of human beings that they consider whole universe and all the animals in it are meant to serve them and they can use it in any way they want. Hence, this criminal attitude should be curbed and animal rights should be protected. On the other hand, some people believe and I agree that animals should be used for research purposes as it is sole reason which made the modern medicine with its advancements possible. In other words, all the injections and drugs we are using in the present era, their initial trials were conducted on animals. Only after successful trials on animals they were approved by the food and drug administration authority to be utilised on humans. Useless experimentation on animals have been banned several years ago just like previously animals were used for cosmetic testing. In conclusion, while people may disagree with their opinion, experimentation on animals and using them for food is fully justified and like the past may result in the invention of many life saving vaccines.
It is
generally
believed by a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights should be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
protected and
they should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for experimentation by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they can
be consumed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings for edible requirements and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
as a major breakthrough in the field of medicine came via experiment on animals.

The protectors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that these creatures should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, neither for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
nor for edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
all the essential nutrients required for the balanced diet of a healthy person can
be procured
from vegetables.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is
absolutely
unnecessary to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
.
Moreover
, the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
conducted by veterinarians confirms that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
subjected to experiments
also
feel pain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it should
be avoided
. According to them this is the selfish nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings that they consider whole universe and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in it
are meant
to serve
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in any way they want.
Hence
, this criminal attitude should
be curbed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights should
be protected
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
as it is sole reason which made the modern medicine with its advancements possible.
In other words
, all the injections and drugs we are using in the present era, their initial trials
were conducted
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
after successful trials on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
they
were approved
by the food and drug administration authority to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Useless experimentation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
been banned
several years ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like previously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for cosmetic testing.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may disagree with their opinion, experimentation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and using them for food is
fully
justified and like the past may result in the invention of
Use "much" or "little" with uncountable nouns.
many
life saving vaccines.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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