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A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure, such as roads, water and power. All other services, such as education, health and social security, should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure, such as roads, water and power. All other services, such as education, health and social security, should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. v. 1
Generally, it is the responsibility of the government to deliver all the necessary facilities to the public, because they are elected by the people to serve the nation. However, some groups have a perception that an administration should not only provide roads and water for its citizens but also the other basic facilities. Whereas others have an opposite opinion like education and hospitals must be a contribution of private organisations rather than depending on ministry. I agree with the viewpoint that government must allocate all the liabilities to the general public. A government’s duty is to serve the people not only by issuing new railway lines, transportation and construction of water tanks, but also to develop the existing schools, building new schools as well as hospitals. The main reason why authorities should do such activities is because every individual is paying taxes to the state and central government from their salaries and for the products they buy, then automatically they expect the government to carry out these projects. If such duties are performed by the higher authorities then common people will be benefitted more. For example, with the building of government schools in villages and towns, many children are able to acquire a basic education of up to 17 years. Indeed, with this knowledge they will be able to look after their survival and support their family. The private organizations also play an equal role in developing the society and nation, but still maximum business heads try to make only profits in the works that they are implementing. Though they have numerous assets and employing thousands of people in their companies to expand their empire, but still they will not bear the basic medical or school fees expenses of their employees.
Generally
, it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to deliver all the necessary facilities to the public,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are elected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to serve the nation.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups have a perception that an administration should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide roads and water for its citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the other basic facilities. Whereas others have an opposite opinion like education and hospitals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a contribution of private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
rather
than depending on ministry. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the viewpoint that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
allocate all the liabilities to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
duty is to serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by issuing new railway lines, transportation and construction of water tanks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to develop the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, building new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as well
as hospitals. The main reason why authorities should do such activities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every individual is paying taxes to the state and central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
from their salaries and for the products they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, then
automatically
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to carry out these projects. If such duties
are performed
by the
Did you mean "higher authorities than"?
higher authorities then
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
more.
For example
, with the building of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in villages and towns,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children are able to acquire a basic education of up to 17 years.
Indeed
, with this knowledge they will be able to look after their survival and support their family.

The private
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
also
play an equal role in developing the society and nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
maximum business heads try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
profits in the works that they are implementing. Though they have numerous assets and employing thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to expand their empire,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they will not bear the basic medical or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fees expenses of their employees.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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Elif Safak

IELTS essay A government's role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure, such as roads, water and power. All other services, such as education, health and social security, should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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