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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.18

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 18
It has often been argued by many, that students in universities should take whichever course they are interested in while others argue that they should take courses that will be beneficial in the future, especially science and technology-related ones. In this essay, I will be looking at both arguments. Many people argue that allowing students study courses they are interested in helps in nurturing their God-given talents. They often argue that when students are allowed to do this, it fuels their self-directed learning which in turn, develops their particular area of interest to a great extent. For example, when Bill Gates was said to have dropped out of Harvard, he still hung around the campus for an extra semester to take courses that interested him the most especially in mathematics and computer programming. This could be argued to have been a part of what helped him in his journey to become the computer wizard that he is today. Therefore, when students are allowed to take courses that they are interested in, it helps them hone their talents and helps them become the geniuses they are destined to be. On the other hand, some people believe that students should take courses that would be useful in the future so as to ensure the continuity of some professions. Because some professions have been taunted to be notoriously difficult, a lot of students are increasingly shying away from it and this could lead to the extinction of these professions which are important to the human race. For example, studies have shown that the number of neurosurgeons have been declining at a rapid rate over the past two decades. Most people opt for less difficult professions instead and this has led to an increase in the workload for practicing neurosurgeons and a reduction in their productivity. Hence, breeding budding doctors to become neurosurgeons will help preserve the profession and improve neurosurgical care delivery. To conclude, I would argue that students should be given a free will to decide the courses they are interested in studying as this will lead to professionals who are passionate about their jobs. Otherwise, we would continue to see people who see their jobs as nothing but a drudge.
It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
been argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in universities should take whichever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that they should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that will be beneficial in the future,
especially
science and technology-related ones. In this essay, I will be looking at both arguments.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in nurturing their God-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
talents. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do this, it fuels their self-directed learning which in turn, develops their particular area of interest to a great extent.
For example
, when Bill Gates
was said
to have dropped out of Harvard, he
still
hung around the campus for an extra semester to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
him the most
especially
in mathematics and computer programming. This could
be argued
to have been a part of what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him in his journey to become the computer wizard that he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Therefore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them hone their talents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them become the geniuses they
are destined
to be.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that would be useful in the future
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
ensure the continuity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
have
been taunted
to be
notoriously
difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
increasingly
shying away from it and this could lead to the extinction of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the human race.
For example
, studies have shown that the number of neurosurgeons have been declining at a rapid rate over the past two decades. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt for less difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
instead
and this has led to an increase in the workload for practicing neurosurgeons and a reduction in their productivity.
Hence
, breeding budding doctors to become neurosurgeons will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
neurosurgical care delivery.

To conclude
, I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argue
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a free will to decide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in studying as this will lead to professionals who are passionate about their jobs.
Otherwise
, we would continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their jobs as nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a drudge.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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