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A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc. ). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. v.1

A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc. ). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. v. 1
Governments can only provide a limited range of services for citizens. Certain types of services, however, must be provided by governments, whereas both governments and private groups or individuals can share the responsibility to provide other services. A government must provide those services which are essential to a country. These include defence capabilities and-social security. Private enterprise and the profit motive should not form part of these essential services. On the other hand, some services could be provided by either governments or private groups or both. Education and health care are examples of such services. A government must provide at least a basic level of education and health care so all citizens can have access to them. Private enterprise, though, could also provide services in these areas for those who wish to pay for them. Urban infrastructure is another area where governments and private groups or individuals can share responsibility. Governments must build and maintain a system of roads, but toll roads can be built and road maintenance carried out by private contractors. Similarly, other infrastructure, such as water or electricity supply, can be operated by private companies. To sum up, there are some services, such as defence and social security, which must be provided by government. Other services, for example water supply or education, could be provided by both government and private enterprise. Consequently, it is not true to say that a government’s role is only to provide some services while others should be provided by the private sector. In fact, both government and private groups can share in the provision of most services.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a limited range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for citizens. Certain types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, whereas both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
or individuals can share the responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
services.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
which are essential to a country. These include
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
capabilities and-social security.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
enterprise and the profit motive should not form part of these essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
or both. Education and health care are examples of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
at least a basic level of education and health care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all citizens can have access to them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
enterprise, though, could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in these areas for those who wish to pay for them.

Urban infrastructure is another area where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
or individuals can share responsibility.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
build and maintain a system of roads,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
toll roads can
be built
and road maintenance carried out by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
contractors.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
infrastructure, such as water or electricity supply, can
be operated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
and social security, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
for example
water supply or education, could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
enterprise.
Consequently
, it is not true to say that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
role is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
while others should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
sector. In fact, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
can share in the provision of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc. ). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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