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Currency notes have been replaced by plastic money and now its all about electronic money. Discuss advantages and disadvantage. v.1

Currency notes have been replaced by plastic money and now its all about electronic money. Discuss advantages and disadvantage. v. 1
These days most of the people prefer to pay via cards or through net-banking so uses of cash has been reduced drastically. Virtual money has taken the place of physical money. This essay will throw some light on both pros and cons of using payment gateways over cash. To begin with the advantages, firstly it allows you to pay to a person residing in a remote location. For instance, now parents do not need to visit their kid's school to pay their fees, they can do it comfortably while sitting at home only. Another benefits of this is, a person’s time is saved as now he does not need to visit banks or ATM, and wait in long queues to withdraw money. In early age, when people used to go outside for shopping they used to make sure that they have enough money with them, but now its not required as most of merchants allow to pay through debit cards, credit cards or banking application. Admittedly, there are some disadvantages too. One of the main issue with this is safety. Cyber crime has increased so much that there are possible chances of vulnerability. Hackers may hack your online banking password, and easily access your all money. Another problem is for old age people who are not as technology friendly as youngsters and may experience discomfort while using e-money. In conclusion, I will say that it is a good development and people should use cards or banking application as long as it is done carefully.
These days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
or through net-banking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of cash has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
drastically
. Virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has taken the place of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This essay will throw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on both pros and cons of using payment gateways over cash.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the advantages,
firstly
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
to a person residing in a remote location.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
parents do not need to visit their kid's school to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
their fees, they can do it
comfortably
while sitting at home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. Another benefits of this is, a person’s time
is saved
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he does not need to visit banks or ATM, and wait in long queues to withdraw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In early age, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go outside for shopping they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
with them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
its not required as
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the merchants") or simply say "most merchants".
most of merchants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
through debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
, credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
or banking application.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too. One of the main issue with this is safety. Cyber crime has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that there are possible chances of vulnerability. Hackers may hack your online banking password, and
easily
access your all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Another problem is for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not as technology friendly as youngsters and may experience discomfort while using e-money.

In conclusion
, I will say that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
or banking application as long as it
is done
carefully
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Currency notes have been replaced by plastic money and now its all about electronic money. Discuss advantages and disadvantage. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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