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A Gift (such As A Camera, A Soccer Ball Or An Animal) Can Contribute To A Child`s Development. What Gift Would You Give To Help A Child Develop? Why? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Choice. v.1

A Gift (such As A Camera, A Soccer Ball Or An Animal) Can Contribute To A Child`s Development. What Gift Would You Give To Help A Child Develop? Why? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Choice. v. 1
Vegetarianism is becoming more and more popular for many people, particularly because of the harm that some people believe meat can cause to the body. However, I strongly believe that it is not necessary for everybody to be a vegetarian. Vegetarians believe that meat is unhealthy because of the diseases it has been connected with. There has been much research to suggest that red meat is particularly bad, for example, and that consumption should be limited to eating it just a few times a week to avoid such things as cancer. Meats can also be high in saturated fats so they have been linked to health problems such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes. However, there are strong arguments for eating meat. The first reason is that as humans we are designed to eat meat, which suggests it is not unhealthy, and we have been eating meat for thousands of years. For example, cavemen made hunting implements so that they could kill animals and eat their meat. Secondly, meat is a rich source of protein which helps to build muscles and bones. Vegetarians often have to take supplements to get all the essential vitamins and minerals. Finally, it may be the case that too much meat is harmful, but we can easily limit the amount we have without having to cut it out of our diet completely. To sum up, I do not agree that everyone should turn to a vegetarian diet. Although the overconsumption of meat could possibly be unhealthy, a balanced diet of meat and vegetables should result a healthy diet.
Vegetarianism is becoming more and more popular for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
particularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the harm that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
can cause to the body.
However
, I
strongly
believe that it is not necessary for everybody to be a vegetarian.

Vegetarians believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the diseases it has
been connected
with. There has been much research to suggest that red
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
for example
, and that consumption should
be limited
to eating it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few times a week to avoid such things as cancer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Meats
can
also
be high in saturated fats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have
been linked
to health problems such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

However
, there are strong arguments for eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
. The
first
reason is that as humans we
are designed
to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
, which suggests it is not unhealthy, and we have been eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
for thousands of years.
For example
, cavemen made hunting implements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could kill animals and eat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is a rich source of protein which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build muscles and bones. Vegetarians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take supplements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the essential vitamins and minerals.
Finally
, it may be the case that too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is harmful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can
easily
limit the amount we have without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
it out of our diet completely.

To sum up, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that everyone should turn to a vegetarian diet. Although the overconsumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
could
possibly
be unhealthy, a balanced diet of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
and vegetables should result a healthy diet.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A Gift (such As A Camera, A Soccer Ball Or An Animal) Can Contribute To A Child`s Development. What Gift Would You Give To Help A Child Develop? Why? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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