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Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places? v.1

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places? v. 1
Many people, nowadays, can be seen going to areas with severe conditions such as too hot or too cold. While people who visit such places consider it adventurous and experience a sense of accomplishment in them, the negatives like extreme weather conditions and higher probability of being lost, are far greater. Some people regard going to areas with harsh conditions advantageous, as they find it quite adventurous. Not only do they consider it a source of enjoyment but also experience a sense of accomplishment in them, after spending time at those places. Sahara desert and Antarctic, for instance, have extreme weather conditions and tourists, mostly youngsters, tend to go there for testing their capabilities of being able to cope with difficult situations. In addition, If tourists went to those places, they are more likely to handle critical situations such as being independent, that may come across in their future, in a better way. Visiting places with difficult situations, however, have considerable disadvantages. One major disadvantage of going to those places is unbearable weather. If weather is too hot or too cold, it could affect the bodies of tourists. As a result, they might get some health problems. Another limitation of visiting areas with harsh conditions is the possibility of being lost. Many people may loose their paths while visiting such places. Therefore, it includes higher risks of getting health ailments and being lost while going to those places. To conclude, Although visiting places with harsh conditions may bring happiness in tourists as they may feel happy by surviving in those places, the disadvantages such as severe health problems and chance of losing their way back, are more. Hence, paying visits to such places, is not recommended.
Many
people
, nowadays, can be
seen
going to areas with severe conditions such as too hot or too
cold
. While
people
who visit such
places
consider it adventurous and experience a sense of accomplishment in them, the negatives like extreme
weather
conditions and higher probability of
being lost
, are far greater.

Some
people
regard going to areas with harsh conditions advantageous, as they find it quite adventurous. Not
only
do they consider it a source of enjoyment
but
also
experience a sense of accomplishment in them, after spending time at those
places
.
Sahara desert
and Antarctic,
for instance
, have extreme
weather
conditions and
tourists
,
mostly
youngsters, tend to go there for testing their capabilities of being able to cope with difficult situations.
In addition
, If
tourists
went to those
places
, they are more likely to handle critical situations such as being independent, that may
come
across in their future, in a better way.

Visiting
places
with difficult situations,
however
, have considerable disadvantages. One major disadvantage of going to those
places
is unbearable
weather
. If
weather
is too hot or too
cold
, it could affect the bodies of
tourists
.
As a result
, they might
get
some
health problems. Another limitation of visiting areas with harsh conditions is the possibility of
being lost
.
Many
people
may
loose
their paths while visiting such
places
.
Therefore
, it includes higher
risks
of getting health ailments and
being lost
while going to those places.

To conclude
, Although visiting
places
with harsh conditions may bring happiness in
tourists
as they may feel happy by surviving in those
places
, the disadvantages such as severe health problems and chance of losing their way back, are more.
Hence
, paying visits to such
places
, is not recommended.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for the tourists who visit such places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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