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A friend of yours is going to have an important job interview and has asked for your advice. What do you think your friend should do in order to have a successful job interview? Explain why. v.1

A friend of yours is going to have an important job interview and has asked for your advice. What do you think your friend should do in order to have a successful job interview? Explain why. v. 1
A large number of species animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. This essay will discuss wild animals are extinct is caused by human’s wrong situations and changing environmental conditions. This essay will also suggest solutions to this problem, including make artificial environment and increase zoologist. Firstly, The person hunts, animal not only food also for aesthetic products. In fact that some animals have warm hair and useful bones these are commercial value it attracted hunters. For instance, Sable’s skin is very demanding for all the time. They take their skin to make warm clothes when sable are alive. It leads to indiscriminate killing and the extinction of this species, because a lot of people interest and buy for high payment. Secondly, due to human destroy their habitat areas and sudden climate has changed which makes too difficult for some animal to survive in their natural habitat. For example, penguins and polar bears are on the endangered list because global warming is increasing day by day. Furthermore, some people think that animals like money, such as a money machine. We have two main solutions which are, people should protect animals and they will build new artificial environment. Some animals which are mammals need special food and safety place to live which are only possible if they help from a person. For example, Deers and rabbits eat grass and other vegetables. The next possible solution is human will improve animal’s right law and will approve a new useful law. If we immediately make this earth and we will lose an amount of species of animals. To conclude, a variety of wild animals lose their habits and a large number of animals have danger. This essay discussed the wild animal’s struggle survive caused by human’s cruel attitude and environmental problems. This essay also suggested two solutions to this issue which are protecting animals and built new artificial environment.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
species
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the verge of extinction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are on the endangered list. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are extinct
is caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
situations and changing environmental conditions. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
suggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to this problem, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
artificial environment and increase zoologist.

Firstly
, The person hunts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
food
also
for aesthetic products. In fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have warm hair and useful bones these are commercial value it attracted hunters.
For instance
, Sable’s skin is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
demanding for all the time. They take their skin to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
warm clothes when sable are alive. It leads to indiscriminate killing and the extinction of this species,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
interest and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
for high payment.
Secondly
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their habitat areas and sudden climate has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
too difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
to survive in their natural habitat.
For example
, penguins and polar bears are on the endangered list
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
global warming is increasing day by day.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like money, such as a money machine.

We have two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
which are,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should protect
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
animals and
they will build new artificial environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are mammals need special food and safety place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from a person.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Deers
and rabbits eat grass and other vegetables. The
next
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
right law and will approve a new useful law. If we immediately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
earth and
we will lose an amount of species of animals.

To conclude
, a variety of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
lose their habits and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
struggle
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to survive"
survive
caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
cruel attitude and environmental problems. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
suggested two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to this issue which are protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and built new artificial environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A friend of yours is going to have an important job interview and has asked for your advice. What do you think your friend should do in order to have a successful job interview? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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