Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A foreign visitor has to spend only one day in your country. Where should that visitor go on that day? Why? Use specific reason and details to support your choice. v.2

A foreign visitor has to spend only one day in your country. Where should that visitor go on that day? Why? Use specific reason and details to support your choice. v. 2
One of the most important duities of a person with regard to a foregin visitor, it to guide him/her in the best possible way. If a foreigner decides to visits my country for only one day I would suggest him to go to Kish Island for two important reasons. First, it is a fun place with variety of atractions. Kish Island has both modern and ancient places which ideal for every visitor. For example, about seven years ago, one of my friends visited my country, Iran. We decided to go to Kish Island. We spend two days in that place, and had lots of fun. Since, the Island is surrounded by sea, we went and tried wave surffing. It was very exciting and intresting. Also, since my friend liked to see some of the ancient places in Iran, and a very old civilization used to live in kish about 1500 years age, we also visited The shrine of Koorosh, which has a big musiume with valiety of ancient stuff. Second, it is a rather small place. Since, the visitor only has one day to spend in my country, I would recommand him/her to go to a small city or place. I thing it is better to visit a small city and see everything than visit a big city and not be able to visit some of the important places in that city. For example, couple of years ago, I took a week off of my job to visit china. Since china is one of the largest countries in the world, most of its cities are large too. Since generally when I visit a place I like to visit it once and for all, I had to choose a city with good atractions and also fairly small area to be able to visit all of the intresting places in it. I believe other visitors like to do the same. It is not efficent to visit a place twice when there are so many places in the earth that we have not seen yet. So, that' s the second reason why I recommand Kish Island for those who have limited time to visit my country. In sum, it is important for us to make sure the foreign visitors enjoy visiting our country. To do so, we have to guide them acording to their limitations and their intrests. A small and ancient place with lots of atractions is ideal for those who have little time.
One of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
Possible spelling mistake found.
duities
of a person with regard to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
foregin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
, it to guide him/her in the best possible way. If a foreigner decides to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "visit".
visits
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one day I would suggest him to go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
reasons.

First
, it is a fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
with variety of
Possible spelling mistake found.
atractions
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
has both modern and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
which ideal for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
.
For example
, about seven years ago, one of my friends visited my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, Iran. We decided to go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
. We spend two days in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, and had lots of fun. Since, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
is surrounded
by sea, we went and tried wave
Possible spelling mistake found.
surffing
. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exciting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
intresting
.
Also
, since my friend liked to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in Iran, and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
civilization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
kish
about 1500 years age, we
also
visited The shrine of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Koorosh
, which has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
musiume
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
valiety
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
stuff.

Second, it is a
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Since, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has one day to spend in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, I would
Possible spelling mistake found.
recommand
him/her to go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
city or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. I
Did you mean the verb "think"?
thing
it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
everything than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city and not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in that city.
For example
,
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
years ago, I took a week off of my job to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
. Since china is one of the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, most of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are large too. Since
generally
when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
I like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
it once and for all, I had to choose a city with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
atractions
and
also
fairly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
area to be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Consider using "all the".
all of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
intresting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in it. I believe other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
like to do the same. It is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
efficent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
twice when there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the earth that we have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
yet
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
that&
#039; s the second reason why I
Possible spelling mistake found.
recommand
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
for those who have limited time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
my country.

In sum, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
enjoy visiting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
guide them
Possible spelling mistake found.
acording
to their limitations and their
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrests
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
with lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
atractions
is ideal for those who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Mistakes

IELTS essay A foreign visitor has to spend only one day in your country. Where should that visitor go on that day? Why? Use specific reason and details to support your choice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
412 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts