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1 Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.2

1 Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture 2
culture is the mirror of the country. what you do with your rituals is exactly showing the clear picture of the nation. I believe, with tourism we can display the real values to other people of the nation but some people believe that the culture may be destroyed with attraction of the tourist' s revenue. this essay will elaborate both the ways of aspects. To begin with, the first merit is, in most of the developing nations, people come across the country and with the help of values, we can get the attractions of the people from other parts of the world which is directly generate the curiosity to see and feel the different values of the nation. For instance, some states have their speciality in their cuisines which can attract to people to come and eat it. Moreover, along with exploration, revenue will also be raised to the government. Additionally, public authority can use this revenue for public welfare also which can develop the progress of the nation. The downside of the aspect is that foreigner can also make the thing worst if they really don' t get the real what they desires. The values may be destroyed by giving the wrong information to other one which is definitely ruined our culture values in other area. government can take the responsibility to settle the things in good way between people and its culture. To close, I must say that we should welcome to people to enjoy our culture values and generate the revenues from them and government should use that money to public welfare.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
culture
is the mirror of the country.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
you do with your rituals is exactly showing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. I believe, with tourism we can display the real values to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
with attraction of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourist&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will elaborate both the ways of aspects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
merit is, in most of the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across the country and with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of values, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the attractions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world which is
directly
generate the curiosity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and feel the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
states have their
Possible spelling mistake. 'speciality' is British English.
speciality
in their cuisines which can attract to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and eat it.
Moreover
, along with exploration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
will
also
be raised
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Additionally
, public authority can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
for public welfare
also
which can develop the progress of the nation.

The downside of the aspect is that foreigner can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the thing worst if they
really
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the real what they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "desire"
desires
. The values may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by giving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one which is definitely ruined our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
values in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
area.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
government
can take the responsibility to settle the things in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and its culture.

To close, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that we should welcome to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
values and generate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenues
from them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that money to public welfare.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay 1 Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting a culture 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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