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A foreign visitor has only one day to spend in your country. Where should this visitor go on that day? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice v.3

A foreign visitor has only one day to spend in your country. Where should this visitor go on that day? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice v. 3
Traveling is one of the most efficient way to spend time with your family and friends along with witnessing different places around the world. Similarly, people usually travel to relax which would allow them to come back to work with extra vigor after a well-deserved break. On the same note, there are plenty of tourists that visit the beautiful country of India on regular basis. I am from India and if I have to recommend a place to a tourist for one day visit, it surely would be Golden Temple. To begin with, the Golden temple is one of the most enthralling sites for the tourists, especially during the night. For instance, you can easily see an amazing reflection of pure gold in the water surrounding the temple. Further along, the relaxing sounds of God' s praises sung inside the building make it a breathtaking experience of a lifetime. Furthermore, there is an exhibition involving the depiction of various historical events which makes it even extra appealing to visitors. On the same note, the events such as historical plays will be held to entertain the audience along with passing a religious message to the crowd. Also, there will always be a free food service where anyone can come and eat, no matter which caste or religion he belongs to. In conclusion, the Golden temple is one of the attractions that come to my mind if I have to recommend to a tourist. In addition, the most attractive views along with a historical significance make it a must watch destination in my country.
Traveling is one of the most efficient
Please check whether a plural form of 'way' should be used.
way
to spend time with your family and friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with witnessing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places around the world.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
travel to relax which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to work with extra vigor after a well-deserved break. On the same note, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
that visit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
country of India on regular basis.

I am from India and if I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
recommend a place to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
for one day visit, it
surely
would be Golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Temple
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the Golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temple
is one of the most enthralling sites for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
,
especially
during the night.
For instance
, you can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an amazing reflection of pure gold in the water surrounding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temple
.
Further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
, the relaxing sounds of
Possible spelling mistake found.
God&
#039; s praises sung inside the building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a breathtaking experience of a lifetime.

Furthermore
, there is an exhibition involving the depiction of various historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it even extra appealing to visitors. On the same note, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as historical plays will
be held
to entertain the audience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with passing a religious message to the crowd.
Also
, there will always be a free food service where anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and eat, no matter which caste or religion he belongs to.

In conclusion
, the Golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temple
is one of the attractions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to my mind if I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
recommend to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
.
In addition
, the most attractive views
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
along
with a historical significance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
destination in my country.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay A foreign visitor has only one day to spend in your country. Where should this visitor go on that day? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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