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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes mixtures of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reason for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience v.1

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes mixtures of nationalities. Give reason for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience v. 1
Undoubtedly, countries with diverse nationalities and culture becomes more fascinating and develops steeply. In my opinion, I completely agree with this statement. To embark with, people living in multicultural society can learn various things from different cultures. Firstly, one can enjoy a variety of traditions and customs which is very exciting and adds spice to the life. For instance, a study by Oxford university has also proved that people living in mixed cultural society feel more rejuvenated because they enjoy all the festivals celebrated by the people of different cultures and religion. Secondly, people living in this kind of environment will get a chance to explore different food habits and living pattern. Last but not the least, people belonging to such diverse society have the opportunity to develop diverse linguistic skills, and being multilingual is an advantage mentally. Hence, the contribution of having an amalgam of diverse types of people makes a country more interesting. Apart from this, the nation will also be benefited with this diverse human resources. Multinational companies always prefer a multicultural workforce because employees get the opportunity to exchange their ideas and techniques which results in the holistic development of the organization. For example, people of India have good technical skills and people of Singapore have exceptional management skills. The mixture of both types of employees will definitely help a company to grow and strengthen the economy. Thus, the benefits of having a mixture of nationalities in a country’s workforce are obvious. In conclusion, I assert that countries with different cultural background and nationalities are much more intriguing. It is undeniable that diversity in a country should be considered a welcoming trend for the fast pace growth of the nation.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
nationalities and culture becomes more fascinating and develops
steeply
. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

To embark with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in multicultural society can learn various things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures.
Firstly
, one can enjoy a variety of traditions and customs which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exciting and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
spice to the life.
For instance
, a study by Oxford university has
also
proved that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in mixed cultural society feel more rejuvenated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they enjoy all the festivals celebrated by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and religion.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in this kind of environment will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
food habits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
pattern. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
belonging to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
society have the opportunity to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
linguistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and being multilingual is an advantage mentally.
Hence
, the contribution of having an amalgam of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more interesting.

Apart from this, the nation will
also
be benefited
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
human resources. Multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
always prefer a multicultural workforce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to exchange their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and techniques which results in the holistic development of the organization.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of India have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Singapore have exceptional management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The mixture of both types of employees will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to grow and strengthen the economy.
Thus
, the benefits of having a mixture of nationalities in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
workforce are obvious.

In conclusion
, I assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultural background and nationalities are much more intriguing. It is undeniable that diversity in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
be considered
a welcoming trend for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace growth of the nation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes mixtures of nationalities. Give reason for your answers and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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