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some people think its better for children to grow up in the city while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable what are the advantages and disadvantages of both places. v.1

some people think its better for children to grow up in the city while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable what are the advantages and disadvantages of both places. v. 1
There is a divided opinion on the location of a child's upbringing. While a majority of people feel a child growing up in the city provides better overall growth, a select few seem to strongly oppose the idea and feel that life in the countryside leads to a healthier lifestyle overall. This essay discusses the pro's and con's of a child's growth in both the countryside and the city. There are two main benefits for children growing up in cities: Good education and easily available facilities. Metropolitan cities generally tend to be the hub for quality education. With schools promoting the usage of English as a first language, children acquire fluency of the language with greater ease. However, this is not the case in villages. Although some schemes have been implemented to improve the situation, there is still a room for improvement as far as education is concerned. Furthermore, all the necessary facilities for daily needs are easily accessible in cities as compared to the countryside. For example, there are still some rural areas which do not have access to hospitals, whereas the same in a city is just a stone's throw away. Despite the drawbacks of living in the countryside, there are some advantages as well. Children growing up in the rural areas gain more exposure to the deep cultural roots of the country as compared to that of cities. A lot of this will directly influence the values and behaviour of the children as they grow up. Moreover, cities are more prone to pollution and various other environmental problems which will have an adverse effect on the health of children. But on the other hand, rural areas are affected less on this aspect. This allows kids to have a healthier lifestyle during the tender age. We have considered the various advantages and disadvantages that cities and villages have to offer. Both have their own benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, raising children in cities is a far better option as they have more access to facilities, good education which form the basis for better overall growth.
There is a divided opinion on the location of a child's upbringing. While a majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel a child growing up in the city provides better
overall
growth, a select few seem to
strongly
oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and feel that life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
leads to a healthier lifestyle
overall
. This essay discusses the pro's and con's of a child's growth in both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and the city.

There are two main benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growing up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
easily
available facilities. Metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
generally
tend to be the hub for quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. With schools promoting the usage of English as a
first
language,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
acquire fluency of the language with greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
However
, this is not the case in villages. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schemes have
been implemented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation, there is
still
a room for improvement as far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is concerned
.
Furthermore
, all the necessary facilities for daily needs are
easily
accessible in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
For example
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rural areas which do not have access to hospitals, whereas the same in a city is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a stone's throw away.

Despite the drawbacks of living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
growing up in the rural areas gain more exposure to the deep cultural roots of the country as compared to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
this will
directly
influence the values and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they grow up.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are more prone to pollution and various other environmental problems which will have an adverse effect on the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the other hand
, rural areas are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
less on this aspect. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
kids to have a healthier lifestyle during the tender age.

We have considered the various advantages and disadvantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and villages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
offer. Both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks. In my opinion, raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is a far better option as they have more access to facilities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which form the basis for better
overall
growth.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think its better for children to grow up in the city while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable what are the advantages and disadvantages of both places. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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