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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.3

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. v. 3
Nowadays, many countries around the world include inhabitants from different cultures and nationalities. While some people argue that this decreases the level of authentecity within these countries, others ensure that this kind of variaty among citizens help countries thrive on different levels in addition to making these geographic locations more intriguing to live in. In this essay, I will illustrate why the latter argument is more compatable with my way of thinking. A prime reason for rapid development in multicultural regions is that people from different backgrounds are exposed to different experiences in life. Consequently, learning curve for these people will be acquired through shorter amount of time. Moreover, these people will be more willing to adopt this rapid change because they can evaluate its outcome first hand. For instance, a recent Cambridge study has concluded that prefessional sport players who have international teammates develop faster than other players who do not get this opportunity. Also life in such cities is prone to be more interesting due to the fact that a person can try new activities more frequently. The reason for this is that different cultures have miscellaneous habits in eating, playing, clothing, or even having fun. For example, while in London, which is a multinational city, you can try a different kind of food almost everyday without repeating the same cuisine twice for a whole year. In conclusion, while some people might say that homogeneous societies are better for development, I utterly disagree with that argument. In the contrary, I think that multinational societies are more interesting and can develop more effeciently.
Nowadays,
many
countries around the world include inhabitants from
different
cultures and nationalities. While
some
people
argue that this decreases the level of
authentecity
within these countries, others ensure that this kind of
variaty
among citizens
help
countries thrive on
different
levels
in addition
to making these geographic locations more intriguing to
live
in. In this essay, I will illustrate why the latter argument is more
compatable
with my way of thinking.

A prime reason for rapid development in multicultural regions is that
people
from
different
backgrounds
are exposed
to
different
experiences in life.
Consequently
, learning curve for these
people
will
be acquired
through shorter amount of time.
Moreover
, these
people
will be more willing to adopt this rapid
change
because
they can evaluate its outcome
first
hand.
For instance
, a recent Cambridge study has concluded that
prefessional
sport players who have international teammates develop faster than other players who do not
get
this opportunity.

Also
life in such cities is prone to be more interesting due to the fact that a person can try new activities more
frequently
.
The reason for this is
that
different
cultures have miscellaneous habits in eating, playing, clothing, or even having fun.
For example
, while in London, which is a multinational city, you can try a
different
kind of food almost
everyday
without repeating the same cuisine twice for a whole year.

In conclusion
, while
some
people
might say that homogeneous societies are better for development, I
utterly
disagree with that argument. In the contrary, I
think
that multinational societies are more interesting and can develop more
effeciently
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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